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Thread: The "GoZagsWooHoo Greetings" Thread

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  1. #1
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    Thumbs up The "GoZagsWooHoo Greetings" Thread

    Uber suggested Woohoo's wonderful greetings would be a cool thread. . .of course, Uber is too busy and or lazy to follow up on his idea (he's like Former1Dog in that regard. . .and Kitz has already made a superb suggestion as to how the "good idea fairies" ought to be dealt with. . . )

    So, in the interest of fun, what follows is a recap ( not 100% guaranteed ) of WooHoo's greetings to date. . .if I miss any, well. . .that's Foo for you. . .


    Zaginhidding / Zaginhiding

    WELCOME zaginhiding! Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am woohoo, aka WooPoemBoyHoo



    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on the board when it comes to writing poems and other forms of incoherant literature. As a matter of fact, I have been posting in a zags forum for about 4 years now, and I am the agreed upon best poem guy the board has ever seen. I actually helped write most of the songs performed by the group Milli Vanilli. I once constructed a word tower out of paper mache, all the words in the tower rhymed. Children from all nations came to my hometown in Missouri to climb the word tower. It was even given a special blessing by MC Hammer. After I decided to close the tower exhibit, I crumpled the tower to pieces, and took all of the words and wrote a song out of it. The Word Tower was one of the most famous paper mache towers ever constructed, it was what legends are made of. Matter of fact, the song that I wrote from the crumpled tower is one of the most famous songs.....EVER. Especially on this board. I sold the song to a red headed guy named Rick. Anyways, I have even written special poems for posters on this board. For instance, one of my best poems was written for a poster named Lothar. I was proud of that one, I was able to rhyme the word "body-cavity" with "banana". *Sigh*....what a great poem... Then there was the poem I wrote for Bobzag...although...it wasn't very popular because the rhymes weren't very creative...the best rhyme I could come up with for his poem was the word "Doom" rhyming with "Gloom"...but anyways, Welcome aboard zaginhiding. Nice to have you.
    Last edited by RenoZag; 11-29-2007 at 11:47 AM.

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    Default Topdog Zag

    TOPDOGZAG, welcome to the board!!!

    I am woohoo, aka WooseamstressHoo.




    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on the board when it comes to fashion and clothing. I once designed a pair of blue jeans that had a hole in the crotch. You may have seen them featured on SNL, I called them "Balls Out Jeans". They are pretty comfortable, unless you sit on something made from wood. I got a pretty nasty splinter doing that once...but anyways. I design clothes all the time, but have not always been as successful at it as I am now. For instance, last December I tried to release a line of clothing where I made underwear out of aluminum foil. It looked REALLY cool, but it was a mess for a poster on this board named "former1dog". Don't tell anyone, but he has a problem with wetting his pants. If you have ever dealt with aluminum foil, you may notice that it isn't very absorbent. This caused a problem for former1 when he went pee-pee. Also, I made a pair of zags replica basketball shorts out of styrophome and lighter fluid once. I sold them to a poster on this board named 229SintoZag. He sent me his hospital bill because he was wearing the shorts and farted, the friction between his legs caused a spark which ignited the lighter fluid, setting the shorts ablaze. Luckily, the styrophome quickly melted, and the flame disappeared, but the melted material gave him a pretty nasty injury to his hoo-hoo dilly area. (Sinto, I'm still sorry about that one). Anyways, I don't have time to tell you the story about Rubaddub and the bra he requested for his blowup doll (the doll is only meant to scare off intruders).

    Anyways, welcome aboard.
    Last edited by RenoZag; 11-28-2007 at 11:01 PM.

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    Default FlyZag

    Welcome Flyzag! Allow myself to introduce...myself...

    I am woohoo, aka WoointroductoryspecialistextrordinaireHoo.



    That is TOTALLY awesome that you brought up the He-Man fan club! Oddly enough, I still have the picture you poster of yourself when you were the "He-Man Fan of the Month".


    But like I said, that is totally awesome!

    I'm glad you've made your way back to the board though, allow me to update you on a couple things. I am pretty much the coolest guy on the board when it comes to Dolls and toys now since you had left. I used to play with He-Man, until one day I was having He-Man lead a destructive force of GI Joe's acrossed the Sahara Desert (my mom's antique dining room table) and He-Man was assassinated by my older sister's "Jordan from New Kids on The Block" doll. I took that one pretty hard. (Don't worry though, the good guys won in the end. The GI Joe's found Jordan's secret hiding place and captured/tortured him for 2 days. Then my 1 foot tall replica doll of John Denver came in and popped Jordan's head off). That Mr. Denver doll was praised for 2 weeks straight until everyone found out he got Teacher Barbie pregnant, which was a pretty awkard situation since she was suppost to be dating my Mr. T doll. Anyways, you might not want to bring up dolls and toys with some other members from this board. For instance, I hear Rubaddub still brings ALL FIVE members of his New Kids on The Block collector series dolls into the bath tub with him. Then there is former1, who watches every single zags game sitting next to a 2 foot tall "Sloth" (from Goonies) doll while he wears his "Chunk" (also from Goonies) T-shirt. But...the craziest one is probably LIZF, from what I hear, he has a life sized blow-up doll in his house. He says he uses it to scare off burglars, but I still don't understand why she always has this "surprised gasp" look on her face...

    Anyways, welcome to the board!


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    Default dnj116

    Welcome to the board dnj116!!! Allow myself to introduce...myself...

    I am woohoo, aka WooPrinceofPersiaHoo.

    I am pretty much the most powerful poster on this board, politically speaking that is. No lie, I am actually the 3rd youngest mayor in the United States. I am mayor of St. Clair, MO, and I'm 24 years old. So thats pretty cool. So if you ever have any questions about policits, I'm your man. I'm going for my second term here in January, so wish me luck. I have done alot of good in my town while being mayor. I made a new law that you cannot cross a street with a goat unless you have it on a leash. There are a couple posters you should avoid when it comes to politics though. For instance, Zagnative once got arrested for urinating in a voting booth, true story. Then there was last election time with MDABE, he was trying to poke a hole in his little voting tab card, and he stabbed through the card and into his index finger! They posted pictures of it on the forum here, it was hilarious. Last but not least, there is former1dog, he doesn't know much about politics at all, and rarely discusses them...so be careful. Anyways, welcome aboard!!!


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    Default Zagsballer

    Welcome Zagsballer!!!

    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am woohoo, aka WooMasterofDisguiseHoo.


    I'm pretty much the fitness guru of this board, so if you ever have questions about which excersizes to perform to enhance certain muscles and body parts, just let me know. I have released 4 fitness videos into the mainstream media. The first one was called "5 minute triceps", the second one was "Cankle Remover 2000", the third video was "Why is Former1dog's Right Forearm Muscle Twice as Big as His Left", and finally the fourth video "The Cheerleading Squad Called Me Horse-Man in High School" <------- (NSFW). But anyways, there are a few other posters on this board that have used my workout system. For example, did you know Rubbadub used to have 6 chins?? With only 16 months on my "5 Minute Triceps" Video, he still had 6 chins, but also added a tricep muscle, way to go Rub! Anyways, welcome Zagsballer


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    Default Willandi

    Willandi- WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!

    Allow myself to introduce....myself. I am woohoo, aka WooCaptainHoo.


    I'm pretty much the most well-known poster on this board. If you ask any sports analysts or rival coaches about the most popular posters on the Zags Forum, they will all list me. So if you ever need a letter of recommendation for anything, just ask me, because I am THAT popular. If you want to avoid the "losers" on this board, stay away from guys like El Voce, Rubbadub, Lothar, and ZagPhish, because they are all wierd. I also heard that Lothar has worked as a bird poop cleaner guy at a local used car dealer for like the last 18 years, so stay especially far from that guy....

    Anyways, welcome aboard!!!


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    Default pure

    Being as you are a first time poster, allow myself to introduce....myself.

    My name is Woohoo, and I am basically the zags forum extrordinairre. So if you have any questions, needs, nostalgic phrasing help, look no further than to me.

    Congratulations on meeting me.




    (10/3/07)


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  8. #8
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    shouldn't this be in the HOF forum?
    If you can't handle the confusion, stay out of the Foo!

    Uber on GuBoards: "Pathetic. We've got posters just sleepwalking through threads."

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    Quote Originally Posted by UberZagFan View Post
    shouldn't this be in the HOF forum?
    Perhaps. . .


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    It's curious to see them lined up like that, sort of like an artist's progression and development over time. This could be an exhibit for the NY Guggenheim.

    "woohoo's later work exhibits a je ne sais quoi, an elusive yet balanced amalgam of satire and truly plebeian expression. It is airy, unsophisticated and unforced. This is the artful welcome of a message board poet and it is not concerned with conventional constraints of sensibility, truth or reason."
    Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheZagPhish View Post

    It's curious to see them lined up like that,. . . "
    Should have started with the oldest first, newest at the bottom. . .my bad. . .going forward, the newer ones will be at the bottom of this thread.
    Last edited by RenoZag; 12-03-2007 at 08:55 AM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by TheZagPhish View Post
    It's curious to see them lined up like that, sort of like an artist's progression and development over time. This could be an exhibit for the NY Guggenheim.

    "woohoo's later work exhibits a je ne sais quoi, an elusive yet balanced amalgam of satire and truly plebeian expression. It is airy, unsophisticated and unforced. This is the artful welcome of a message board poet and it is not concerned with conventional constraints of sensibility, truth or reason."
    Is the world truly ready for a Postmodern Woo Hoo ?

    I shudder to think of the ramifications, especially once his message begins spanning the International Date Line, and multiple time zones. . .


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    Quote Originally Posted by RenoZag View Post
    Uber suggested Woohoo's wonderful greetings would be a cool thread. . .of course, Uber is too busy and or lazy to follow up on his idea (he's like Former1Dog in that regard. . .and Kitz has already made a superb suggestion as to how the "good idea fairies" ought to be dealt with. . .

    So, in the interest of fun, what follows is a recap ( not 100&#37; guaranteed ) of WooHoo's greetings to date. . .if I miss any, well. . .that's Foo for you. . .
    .
    youtube - "The Runner"



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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewey View Post
    Glad you saw it too. Since it was my first post, I figured someone might think I was crazy.

    As I've been lurking awhile, I've seen a number of WooHoo's memorable welcomes. But I'm not holding my breath as it seems he's pretty busy with other things during the season.




    WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!

    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am Woohoo...aka The "WooStaplerBoyHoo".


    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to staplers. Staplers may not seem THAT exciting, but the corporate world would be LOST without them, and thats a fact. I became an expert in 1988 (the year the Steelers won their first superbowl). I actually invented the stapler back in the early 1980's. The first stapler was much more of a basic device than todays version. My original invention was consisted of 2 pieces of used cardboard, half a roll of scotch tape, 2 lemons, an old hair curler, and a small piece of thin metal (for the staple itself). Believe it or not, some of the very first users of my stapler are some of the posters on this very forum. For instance, Rubaddub used the first ever staple to hang a picture in his parents basement (where he still resides, 25 years later) of a New Kids on The Block poster, which he still has hanging above his bed. Also, the board legend, Bobzag, has a poster of Jessica Alba hanging in his bedroom. He didn't use the stapler to hang the poster, but he uses it to put clothes on her. What I mean by that, is...BZ is slightly odd...he will use construction paper and spend HOURS designing little clothing pieces from it, decorating the clothing with sequens and tinsel, and then use the stapler to staple the clothes onto the poster like he is dressing Jessica Alba. (It always kinda freaked me out)...but hey, it is better than the alternative...like my boy LongIslandZagFan, he does the same thing as BZ...only the poster is a picture of a naked Paul Reubans...


    Anyways, enough about my inventions, WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!


    and ps- Yes, my welcomes are harder to come by during the season, but I was specially directed toward you, when someone alerted me via the WOOHOO BAT SIGNAL in the FOO Forum. Which, by the way, you need to check out.
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

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    Hey there dezag!

    Welcome to the board!!! Allow myself to introduce....myself...


    I am woohoo, aka WooTaxGuyHoo.



    I am pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to taxes. And that's actually pretty important since it is now tax season. I have been doing taxes since about 1979 (the year the Raiders won the Super Bowl), and have now been running my own tax office for the last 3 years. I do the taxes for most of the posters on this board actually. I guess everyone trusts me because I am really good with numbers, and even though I am states away from alot of these guys, I can get their taxes completed and returned to them by 8:00am their time (depending on what time zone I send it from, which...I think I am Central Midwest Time).
    Anyways, speaking of doing taxes for some of the people on this board, let me tell you about a couple of them. I was able to get Rubbadub's parents over $5000 in refunds last year!!! How, might you ask?? Well...apparently, they didn't know that you can deduct meals for any children that are unemployed, have no girlfriend, and still live at home in your basement. And, our buddy Rub qualifies in all categories.
    Then there is fellow poster drnoe. I got him a nice chunk of change back last year too. He didn't know this, but blow up dolls can be deducted, because they count as excersize tools (which is a legal deduction in only 3 states). But he was pretty excited, and deducted all 7 of his dolls.
    And lastly, my friend 83Topper...he wasn't aware of this, but I got him over $10,000 worth of deductions for nudey movies he ordered on him TV. Which...is a nice deduction, but I still found the whole "barn animal" thing a little wierd...


    Anyways, WELCOME ABOARD!!!!
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

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    Got em.







    WELCOME ABOARD ZAGTANA!!!


    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am Woohoo, aka WooBoardIdolHoo.



    I am pretty much the coolest poster on this board when it comes to singing. As a matter of fact, we held our own version of American Idol and called it "GU Board Idol", and I was the winner. Yep, that was back in 1981 (coincidentally, that was the same year the Detroit Tigers won the NLCS). Anyways, I won the competition with a spicy rendition of "I'm to Sexy" by George Michael. Enough about me...let me tell you a little about some of the posters on this board.
    I have been invited to different events to sing and karaoke for a few of the posters on this board. This has given me a chance to meet many posters...many of whom are pretty odd...for instance, last year I was hired by a poster named GonzagaGurl08 to sing at her pool party. I started singing some of the top hits from 2007, and she interrupted me and made me get down on one knee and sing Backstreet Boys directly to her for the entire rest of the party. She also made me change the lyrics to make it sound like Pendo was the one singing and directing the songs personally to her...
    Then there was the Tupperware party I sang hired to sing at by ElVoce. (this was kinda scary...) The only songs he let me sing were Michael Bolton songs, while he put on a sundress and danced circles around the living room while holding his tea-cup chihuahua he named "Mikey". This is also the first time I'd ever seen a person wear lipstick and kiss a dog on the mouth. But hey...the dog seemed to be into it to so, what can I say?
    Then there was the candle party I sang at for a poster named TexasZagFan. It was one of the more uncomfortable gigs I have ever done because he made me wear this wierd, tight leather suit and sing Janet Jackson songs, then kept trying to tear pieces of the suit off while he yelled "Wardrobe malfunction time, wardrobe malfunction time". Come to think of it...he said it was a candle party, yet, I didn't see candles and I was the only person there....? Hmm...oh well, but this is also one of the reasons I haven't been to his house alone since then.

    Anyways, I'd better get back to work, I just wanted to say HELLO, and WELCOME ABOARD ZAGTANA!!!!!
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  17. #17
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    PTMA thread ever. . .look's like there are some greetings that never made it over to this thread.

    So it goes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RenoZag View Post
    PTMA thread ever. . .look's like there are some greetings that never made it over to this thread.

    So it goes.
    I agree, my personal favorite PMTA thread ever. I don't think the very last greeting I did made it here...although I don't quite remember who it was to. I only remember because I thought it may have been a personal best. I will try to find it...

    (feel free to delete this post if I find it, I wouldn't want to clog this sweet thread)
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

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    Wow, not gonna lie, I don't remember writing over half of these!! haha. Some of them really had me cracking up though. Poor Rubaddub got hammered on a lot of these, haha. Miss that guy.


    I need to get back to doing my greetings again. I shall work on that.
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

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    Here is one that whoohoo did about a month ago.... (Almost slipped through the cracks...lol)

    Well hello dan71w! Allow myself to introduce....myself. I am Woohoo, bringer of all that is good.

    Everyone on the forum knows me as the grocery store guy. I run the grocery store, here within the forum. So if you ever need anything like vegetables, fruit, or Pez, just send me a PM. I do feel like it's my job to warn you about a few of the posters here though....we've had issues over the years with some of them. First and foremost, I need to mention former1dog. We had to ban him from the grocery store last May, because he was going around telling all of the women in the store that he "worked in the store, and his job was to go around and get a test-feel of the softness of all of the customers melons". This was especially disturbing to those certain customers who did not actually HAVE melons in their carts.
    You really need to be on the lookout for gu03alum as well. He always hangs out near the freezer section. You can recognize him easily because he pulls his arms inside his shirt, and bends his arms in, and just sticks his elbows out of the arm holes, and acts like he has no arms. Then he will go up to the ladies, and say "Hey look. I got no arms. Will you reach way back in the freezer for me and grab that Cool Whip?". At first, it seemed harmless, but then one of the ladies turned to quickly and their frozen "jubblies" (for lack of a better term) scraped gu03alum in the face and cut him open pretty bad.
    Lastly, there is Rubbadub. He is also kind of shady. He got permanently banned from the bakery last month, because he kept going in and stealing the Cherry pie's, right after they came out of the oven. For the longest time, we thought he was stealing them and eating them. Then somebody found like 3 dozen pies back behind his mother's house (he lives in her basement), and he hadn't eaten ANY of the actual pies, but he had just put a very small hole right in the center of the pie's. Still not exactly sure what was going on there.

    Anyway, nice to have you posting! See you around.

    Woohoo
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