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Thread: The "GoZagsWooHoo Greetings" Thread

  1. #26
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    Default Randomzagfan

    I know this greeting is reaching you just a tad late in your board inductionalization, but you have had a greeting given to you by Reno (Christmas gift). He won the ebay auction. So congrats! And Welcome!

    But first, allow myself to introduce...myself...

    I am woohoo, aka WooWebAnalystHoo.



    I am pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to computers and the internet. Matter of fact, I actually invented a water proof computer screen and keyboard for a member on this board named Reno. I'm still not sure why someone would need a water/liquid proof screen and keyboard...but hey, I don't ask questions, I just invent. I am actually really good at tracking down information on the internet too though. Back when I was in high school, I was suppost to write a 25 page thesis on Time Zones and other forms of conspiracy. So I hopped online to search around, and after about 4 hours of searching, I found some REALLY cool stuff...then I remembered I was suppost to be looking for time zone related things....oh well, I don't think failing that paper has affected me long term. But anyways, back to how cool I am with computers and everything. I haven't ALWAYS been a computer genious invention specialist extrordinaire. I have had many inventions fail over the years. Take for instance the time I tried to create a combination of a laptop and a frisbee...no deal on that one. Then the cross between a blow dryer and a desktop computer...I thought it was a good idea, but apparently ladies are pretty lazy and thought a 30 pound computer monitor was to heavy to hold above their head for 15 minutes...grow up ladies, you can't have EVERYTHING handed to you on a silver platter ya know. Speaking of wierd females, one female poster you might meet on this board is Zagnative. She said she lacks male recognisence, and requested I install a dominant male voice in her computer that gives positive feedback everytime she posts. I thought it was a little wierd, but hey, whatever floats your boat right? As wierd as Zagnative might sound, there are plenty of posters on this board that are even wierder. Take for example LongIslandZagFan. Last March he wanted a webcam installed UNDER his computer desk...??? I don't quite get that, I guess he is really short or something? Then there was the request by Rubaddub, he wanted a laptop that has a flashlight installed in the cd rom drive. I didn't get why until I actually delivered the unit, it is REALLY dark in his parent's basement... Oh, and last but not least, beware of that guy Reno I told you about earlier...yesterday I was searching on google for this thing we have on this forum called "The GUnit". (Its a player of the game type of deal). Anyways...I searched "GUnit" on google and found this personal website Reno started. It's at "www.GUnitInaG-string.com". I'll never look at Reno the same again...not only did he have some pictures of himself in a g-string that would make Jeffrey Dahmer cringe, but those poor animals...atleast the llama can still walk though...thats more than I can say for the sloth...

    Anyways, I got WAY off topic. I just wanted to say WELCOME ABOARD Random!!!
    __________________
    "Allow myself to introduce...myself" WOOHOO

  2. #27
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    Default Woohoo Multiplexional Greeting to the new posters

    Holy cow, so far I have counted somewhere in the area of 17 or 18 new posters in the (OT-Age and Location) thread. That's awesome! I was really close to giving them each their own personal greeting...but that would have taken atleast 7 hours, so sorry guys.

    But I DID NOT want to leave them empty handed. So the following posters get a group welcome.

    ZagTrain
    coolhandzag
    hogiezag
    zagfan73
    lawprof99
    calidog
    zagrad73
    zagineer
    2wiceright
    zagarooskyette
    attyrob
    RBCZagsfan
    Chicagozag
    GUHockey
    carrotzag
    Colbyspapa
    T-bonedazag
    karlos2121

    (If I have greeted any of yans before, congrats, cause you get another one) But for the most part, I don't think I've hit all of ya's. (And if I left any off, please accept my conglomerate apology).







    Welcome "New Group of Posters"!!! Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am woohoo, aka "WooLegalAdviseryCouncilHoo".


    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to law and general courtroom practioning. That's right, most people don't know this about me, but I passed the bar back in 1993, and have been practicing law ever since. I have actually even created new laws since then. For instance, did you know its now legal in Missouri to get a new dollar bill if you find one that has feces on it? Yep, thats all me right there. I have this problem of putting things in my mouth when I'm bored, and I would always swallow my money on accident. Then, when the money would exit my hind quarters, it would be all nasty. I tried using it in stores, and they refused it (mostly because it was no longer green in color I think). I checked the record books, and there is nothing saying you can't use poo covered money (now referred to as "fecal funds" because of me). So I submitted a special endorsement to the constitution (which is also called a "bill", per Schoolhouse Rock), and the law is now engraved in the constitution. Anyways, enough about my achievments...I have even represented many of the known posters on this board in different cases. Most of them, I have won. For example, did you know that you cannot legally kick your children out of your home? That's right. Just ask Rubbadub. I represented him in a case where his parents were trying to get him to move out of their basement. BUT....legally, if your child is still living in the basement, has no job, could pass for either a man or a woman, smells like Miracle Whip, and will more than likely die a virgin...there parent's CAN NOT kick them out of their home. Rub was pretty excited about that win, and its probably one of my biggest victories as well.
    Then there was the case involving LongIslandZagFan. That was a doosy...and I actually lost this case though. I won't go into to much detail, but I STILL don't understand the big deal of having farm animals in a hotel room...I think the kicker was the fact that 2 of the animals committed suicide once taken to the animal shelter...
    Oh, and I can't forget former1dog. Thanks to me, it is now legal to go jogging naked in the state of Washington, as long as you slightly resemble a naked female while you are jogging.

    Anyways, I'd better get back to work. I just wanted to extend my welcome to all the new posters! Send me a PM to say hi every now and then!

    WELCOME ABOARD!!!!

  3. #28
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lewey View Post
    Glad you saw it too. Since it was my first post, I figured someone might think I was crazy.

    As I've been lurking awhile, I've seen a number of WooHoo's memorable welcomes. But I'm not holding my breath as it seems he's pretty busy with other things during the season.




    WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!

    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am Woohoo...aka The "WooStaplerBoyHoo".


    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to staplers. Staplers may not seem THAT exciting, but the corporate world would be LOST without them, and thats a fact. I became an expert in 1988 (the year the Steelers won their first superbowl). I actually invented the stapler back in the early 1980's. The first stapler was much more of a basic device than todays version. My original invention was consisted of 2 pieces of used cardboard, half a roll of scotch tape, 2 lemons, an old hair curler, and a small piece of thin metal (for the staple itself). Believe it or not, some of the very first users of my stapler are some of the posters on this very forum. For instance, Rubaddub used the first ever staple to hang a picture in his parents basement (where he still resides, 25 years later) of a New Kids on The Block poster, which he still has hanging above his bed. Also, the board legend, Bobzag, has a poster of Jessica Alba hanging in his bedroom. He didn't use the stapler to hang the poster, but he uses it to put clothes on her. What I mean by that, is...BZ is slightly odd...he will use construction paper and spend HOURS designing little clothing pieces from it, decorating the clothing with sequens and tinsel, and then use the stapler to staple the clothes onto the poster like he is dressing Jessica Alba. (It always kinda freaked me out)...but hey, it is better than the alternative...like my boy LongIslandZagFan, he does the same thing as BZ...only the poster is a picture of a naked Paul Reubans...


    Anyways, enough about my inventions, WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!


    and ps- Yes, my welcomes are harder to come by during the season, but I was specially directed toward you, when someone alerted me via the WOOHOO BAT SIGNAL in the FOO Forum. Which, by the way, you need to check out.
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  4. #29
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    Hey there dezag!

    Welcome to the board!!! Allow myself to introduce....myself...


    I am woohoo, aka WooTaxGuyHoo.



    I am pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to taxes. And that's actually pretty important since it is now tax season. I have been doing taxes since about 1979 (the year the Raiders won the Super Bowl), and have now been running my own tax office for the last 3 years. I do the taxes for most of the posters on this board actually. I guess everyone trusts me because I am really good with numbers, and even though I am states away from alot of these guys, I can get their taxes completed and returned to them by 8:00am their time (depending on what time zone I send it from, which...I think I am Central Midwest Time).
    Anyways, speaking of doing taxes for some of the people on this board, let me tell you about a couple of them. I was able to get Rubbadub's parents over $5000 in refunds last year!!! How, might you ask?? Well...apparently, they didn't know that you can deduct meals for any children that are unemployed, have no girlfriend, and still live at home in your basement. And, our buddy Rub qualifies in all categories.
    Then there is fellow poster drnoe. I got him a nice chunk of change back last year too. He didn't know this, but blow up dolls can be deducted, because they count as excersize tools (which is a legal deduction in only 3 states). But he was pretty excited, and deducted all 7 of his dolls.
    And lastly, my friend 83Topper...he wasn't aware of this, but I got him over $10,000 worth of deductions for nudey movies he ordered on him TV. Which...is a nice deduction, but I still found the whole "barn animal" thing a little wierd...


    Anyways, WELCOME ABOARD!!!!
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  5. #30
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    Default

    Welcome aboard zagsfanforlife! You're not the only new one today, so I'd like to extend this greeting to Hammer and LoveMyZags as well...


    Allow myself to introduce.....myself....


    I am Woohoo. Aka WooMovieProducerHoo.



    I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to producing movies. I've been writing, directing, producing movies since around 1983 (the year the Toronto Blue Jays won a world series). The first movie I was ever a part of, I actually wrote, produced, directed, and did introductory lighting effects in. It was a movie about the life of myself, and followed me into my later years of retirement and such. When it was released, it came out at #4 in the box office for Flounders County in Missouri. I was pretty happy with it. Anyways, enough about me. I've actually been a part of a few movies involving some posters on this board. You are probably familiar with a movie titled "It's Dark in My Parent's Basement", starring Rubbadub. Great, great movie. The lighting was especially difficult since the entire thing was shot in his parent's basement. It was a PG rated film, because there was not even 1 scene involving a female...apparently that's a pretty common thing, no females with Rub in his parents basement...
    Then there is the film I shot for Lothar. It really didn't do that well...Lothar played an old, unathletic, poor, ugly guy in the movie. It was called "The True Life Story of Lothar".
    The last and most successful movie I have ever been a part of was called "MILF's Making A Living In The Streets of Vegas". It was starring the mother of a really cool poster named 83Topper. She is a PHENOMINAL actress...


    Anyways, I'd better get back to work, but atleast now you guys know a little bit about some of the posters here.

    WELCOME ABOARD!!!
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  6. #31
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    Got em.







    WELCOME ABOARD ZAGTANA!!!


    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

    I am Woohoo, aka WooBoardIdolHoo.



    I am pretty much the coolest poster on this board when it comes to singing. As a matter of fact, we held our own version of American Idol and called it "GU Board Idol", and I was the winner. Yep, that was back in 1981 (coincidentally, that was the same year the Detroit Tigers won the NLCS). Anyways, I won the competition with a spicy rendition of "I'm to Sexy" by George Michael. Enough about me...let me tell you a little about some of the posters on this board.
    I have been invited to different events to sing and karaoke for a few of the posters on this board. This has given me a chance to meet many posters...many of whom are pretty odd...for instance, last year I was hired by a poster named GonzagaGurl08 to sing at her pool party. I started singing some of the top hits from 2007, and she interrupted me and made me get down on one knee and sing Backstreet Boys directly to her for the entire rest of the party. She also made me change the lyrics to make it sound like Pendo was the one singing and directing the songs personally to her...
    Then there was the Tupperware party I sang hired to sing at by ElVoce. (this was kinda scary...) The only songs he let me sing were Michael Bolton songs, while he put on a sundress and danced circles around the living room while holding his tea-cup chihuahua he named "Mikey". This is also the first time I'd ever seen a person wear lipstick and kiss a dog on the mouth. But hey...the dog seemed to be into it to so, what can I say?
    Then there was the candle party I sang at for a poster named TexasZagFan. It was one of the more uncomfortable gigs I have ever done because he made me wear this wierd, tight leather suit and sing Janet Jackson songs, then kept trying to tear pieces of the suit off while he yelled "Wardrobe malfunction time, wardrobe malfunction time". Come to think of it...he said it was a candle party, yet, I didn't see candles and I was the only person there....? Hmm...oh well, but this is also one of the reasons I haven't been to his house alone since then.

    Anyways, I'd better get back to work, I just wanted to say HELLO, and WELCOME ABOARD ZAGTANA!!!!!
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  7. #32
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    PTMA thread ever. . .look's like there are some greetings that never made it over to this thread.

    So it goes.

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by RenoZag View Post
    PTMA thread ever. . .look's like there are some greetings that never made it over to this thread.

    So it goes.
    I agree, my personal favorite PMTA thread ever. I don't think the very last greeting I did made it here...although I don't quite remember who it was to. I only remember because I thought it may have been a personal best. I will try to find it...

    (feel free to delete this post if I find it, I wouldn't want to clog this sweet thread)
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  9. #34
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    Wow, not gonna lie, I don't remember writing over half of these!! haha. Some of them really had me cracking up though. Poor Rubaddub got hammered on a lot of these, haha. Miss that guy.


    I need to get back to doing my greetings again. I shall work on that.
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  10. #35
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    Here is one that whoohoo did about a month ago.... (Almost slipped through the cracks...lol)

    Well hello dan71w! Allow myself to introduce....myself. I am Woohoo, bringer of all that is good.

    Everyone on the forum knows me as the grocery store guy. I run the grocery store, here within the forum. So if you ever need anything like vegetables, fruit, or Pez, just send me a PM. I do feel like it's my job to warn you about a few of the posters here though....we've had issues over the years with some of them. First and foremost, I need to mention former1dog. We had to ban him from the grocery store last May, because he was going around telling all of the women in the store that he "worked in the store, and his job was to go around and get a test-feel of the softness of all of the customers melons". This was especially disturbing to those certain customers who did not actually HAVE melons in their carts.
    You really need to be on the lookout for gu03alum as well. He always hangs out near the freezer section. You can recognize him easily because he pulls his arms inside his shirt, and bends his arms in, and just sticks his elbows out of the arm holes, and acts like he has no arms. Then he will go up to the ladies, and say "Hey look. I got no arms. Will you reach way back in the freezer for me and grab that Cool Whip?". At first, it seemed harmless, but then one of the ladies turned to quickly and their frozen "jubblies" (for lack of a better term) scraped gu03alum in the face and cut him open pretty bad.
    Lastly, there is Rubbadub. He is also kind of shady. He got permanently banned from the bakery last month, because he kept going in and stealing the Cherry pie's, right after they came out of the oven. For the longest time, we thought he was stealing them and eating them. Then somebody found like 3 dozen pies back behind his mother's house (he lives in her basement), and he hadn't eaten ANY of the actual pies, but he had just put a very small hole right in the center of the pie's. Still not exactly sure what was going on there.

    Anyway, nice to have you posting! See you around.

    Woohoo
    19 Straight Big Dances

    9 Straight Round of 32s

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    2017 FINAL FOUR

    The Best Point Guard to ever play the game: John Stockton, most assists, most steals.

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