The "GoZagsWooHoo Greetings" Thread

[RenoZag]

shouldn't this be in the HOF forum?

Perhaps. . .

[TheZagPhish]

It's curious to see them lined up like that, sort of like an artist's progression and development over time. This could be an exhibit for the NY Guggenheim.

"woohoo's later work exhibits a je ne sais quoi, an elusive yet balanced amalgam of satire and truly plebeian expression. It is airy, unsophisticated and unforced. This is the artful welcome of a message board poet and it is not concerned with conventional constraints of sensibility, truth or reason."

[RenoZag]

It's curious to see them lined up like that,. . . "

Should have started with the oldest first, newest at the bottom. . .my bad. . .going forward, the newer ones will be at the bottom of this thread.

[lothar98zag]

Uber suggested Woohoo's wonderful greetings would be a cool thread. . .of course, Uber is too busy and or lazy to follow up on his idea (he's like Former1Dog in that regard. . .and Kitz has already made a superb suggestion as to how the "good idea fairies" ought to be dealt with. . .

So, in the interest of fun, what follows is a recap ( not 100% guaranteed ) of WooHoo's greetings to date. . .if I miss any, well. . .that's Foo for you. . .

[former1dog]

HOF thread, IMO.

[RenoZag]

It's curious to see them lined up like that, sort of like an artist's progression and development over time. This could be an exhibit for the NY Guggenheim.

"woohoo's later work exhibits a je ne sais quoi, an elusive yet balanced amalgam of satire and truly plebeian expression. It is airy, unsophisticated and unforced. This is the artful welcome of a message board poet and it is not concerned with conventional constraints of sensibility, truth or reason."

Is the world truly ready for a Postmodern Woo Hoo ?

I shudder to think of the ramifications, especially once his message begins spanning the International Date Line, and multiple time zones. . .

[UberZagFan]

See, some of us in the Foo do have great ideas. And it's actually pretty cool when somebody acts on them.

[RenoZag]

Dazags. . .

Wecome Dazags!!!

Allow myself to introduce...myself...

I am woohoo, aka WooVideoConstructionistHoo.



I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to putting together VHS tapes (the actual constructional portion). Basically, I make the actual tape itself, so unfortunatley, I can't help you in your dilemma with your son. Let me take a second to tell you about my earlier days in video tape construction. I was amazingly good at putting together cardboard boxes when I used to work down at Tom's Adult Store, and I was approached one day by a man that said, "Holy crap, thats a nice cardboard box you just constructed. What do you say you bring those skills to my company, to make VHS tapes? I'll pay you top dollar." How could I refuse that? So, I joined TFHCOVHSTCI. (The Franklin Hibbart Company Of Video Home System Tape Construction Incorporated). I actually set the Thompson County record for most tapes constructed in 7 minutes (2 tapes). My tapes have gone on to become excellent movies. Like the home movie our dear friend former1 made of himself and a poo castle (like a sand castle, only with poo). There is also an excellent VHS library of dozens of tapes of LIZF shooting baskets and talking about the old days (picture Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite). There have also been unsuccesful tapes too...like the one ZagNative made where she reads childrens books and tried to sell it to Elementary Schools. It sold 4 copies because apparently she kept messing up words and mumbling expletives. (By the way, 3 of those copies were purchased by her family). Anyways, gotta got back to work, just wanted to say WELCOME ABOARD!!!

Tell your son thanks for his service to this country, btw.

[lothar98zag]

Zagthunder

Welcome Zagthunder!!!
Allow myself to introduce....myself...

I am woohoo, aka WooPhotoEnhancementSpecialistHoo.


I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to taking photos and analyzing photography configurations. I actually used to take pictures for the Louisiana Tribune back in the mid 80's. One of my best pieces of work was when I captured a few photos of a turtle pooping. That may not seem that cool, but if you think back on how often you have actually witnessed a turtle pooping, its a rarity, and to capture it on film, MAGNIFICENT. I've also taken some photos of posters on this board, but I'll have to admit I'm not that proud of those pictures...take for instance the time I took pictures of Zagpants, the camera that I use is one of the most expensive, high quality cameras you can ever buy, so it will really show great clarity and details. I took a photo of him looking over his shoulder, so most of the picture was from behind him. When I developed the picture, it was so clear that you could see this really dark skid-mark showing through his pants. We did not keep that photo... And then there is the time I had a photoshoot with Lothar, he was showing some of his current personal photo albums to give me examples of pictures he wanted. Turns out he grabbed the wrong photo album and we stumbled upon his collection of animal porn. I'll never look at a llama the same...Anyways, I can't tell you about my photo shoot with Rubaddub because of privacy laws....

BUT WELCOME ABOARD MY NEW FRIEND!!!!

[RenoZag]

DX Drew

WELCOME ABOARD DX Drew!!!

Allow myself to introduce....myself...

I am woohoo, aka WooBallsHoo.



I'm pretty much the coolest guy on the board when it comes to pinball machines. I know this might seem a little "random", but its true. And for the record, I'm really not that "random". Once you are on the boards a little longer, you'll see that I am one of the more respected, smart, and informational posters here. Anyways, back to my pinball machines. I actually built a pinball machine back in 2nd grade, using nothing but scrap parts from my Atari set, and sac of potatos, and my sisters hair rollers. It was only about 2 and a half feet tall, but it was still fun. I called it "Sac of Balls". It was a great game! I played it for hours at a time! It would never sell on the mainstream market though, because "Sac of Balls" gets squished easily if you sit on it (cuz its so short, you dont see it). Plus, anytime someone would kick my "Sac of Balls", it would really hurt (their foot). The only reason I stopped playing with the "Sac of Balls" is it had a slight defect. If you would play with the "Sac of Balls" for a long time, but not WIN, the lighting effects would turn blue (this was a defect with the Atari section). Anyways, I really don't do much Pinball machine construction anymore. Every now and then I will make machines by request. Matter of fact, Former1dog once had me make a custom pinball machine that he wanted named "Skidmark Express". Then I made a custom machine for machine for LynetteG, it was called "I Have No Control Over Where My Nephew Goes To College, So Leave Me Alone" But my absolute FAVORITE pinball machine was the one I made for Rubaddub called "Why Do My Clothers Smell Like My Mom's Moldy Basement? Just Because I Live There, That Doesn't Mean Anything". That was actually a GREAT pinball machine. I wonder if he still plays it?

Anywho, WELCOME ABOARD!!!

[RenoZag]

Randomzagfan

I know this greeting is reaching you just a tad late in your board inductionalization, but you have had a greeting given to you by Reno (Christmas gift). He won the ebay auction. So congrats! And Welcome!

But first, allow myself to introduce...myself...

I am woohoo, aka WooWebAnalystHoo.



I am pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to computers and the internet. Matter of fact, I actually invented a water proof computer screen and keyboard for a member on this board named Reno. I'm still not sure why someone would need a water/liquid proof screen and keyboard...but hey, I don't ask questions, I just invent. I am actually really good at tracking down information on the internet too though. Back when I was in high school, I was suppost to write a 25 page thesis on Time Zones and other forms of conspiracy. So I hopped online to search around, and after about 4 hours of searching, I found some REALLY cool stuff...then I remembered I was suppost to be looking for time zone related things....oh well, I don't think failing that paper has affected me long term. But anyways, back to how cool I am with computers and everything. I haven't ALWAYS been a computer genious invention specialist extrordinaire. I have had many inventions fail over the years. Take for instance the time I tried to create a combination of a laptop and a frisbee...no deal on that one. Then the cross between a blow dryer and a desktop computer...I thought it was a good idea, but apparently ladies are pretty lazy and thought a 30 pound computer monitor was to heavy to hold above their head for 15 minutes...grow up ladies, you can't have EVERYTHING handed to you on a silver platter ya know. Speaking of wierd females, one female poster you might meet on this board is Zagnative. She said she lacks male recognisence, and requested I install a dominant male voice in her computer that gives positive feedback everytime she posts. I thought it was a little wierd, but hey, whatever floats your boat right? As wierd as Zagnative might sound, there are plenty of posters on this board that are even wierder. Take for example LongIslandZagFan. Last March he wanted a webcam installed UNDER his computer desk...??? I don't quite get that, I guess he is really short or something? Then there was the request by Rubaddub, he wanted a laptop that has a flashlight installed in the cd rom drive. I didn't get why until I actually delivered the unit, it is REALLY dark in his parent's basement... Oh, and last but not least, beware of that guy Reno I told you about earlier...yesterday I was searching on google for this thing we have on this forum called "The GUnit". (Its a player of the game type of deal). Anyways...I searched "GUnit" on google and found this personal website Reno started. It's at "www.GUnitInaG-string.com". I'll never look at Reno the same again...not only did he have some pictures of himself in a g-string that would make Jeffrey Dahmer cringe, but those poor animals...atleast the llama can still walk though...thats more than I can say for the sloth...

Anyways, I got WAY off topic. I just wanted to say WELCOME ABOARD Random!!!
__________________
"Allow myself to introduce...myself" WOOHOO

[RenoZag]

Woohoo Multiplexional Greeting to the new posters

Holy cow, so far I have counted somewhere in the area of 17 or 18 new posters in the (OT-Age and Location) thread. That's awesome! I was really close to giving them each their own personal greeting...but that would have taken atleast 7 hours, so sorry guys.

But I DID NOT want to leave them empty handed. So the following posters get a group welcome.

ZagTrain
coolhandzag
hogiezag
zagfan73
lawprof99
calidog
zagrad73
zagineer
2wiceright
zagarooskyette
attyrob
RBCZagsfan
Chicagozag
GUHockey
carrotzag
Colbyspapa
T-bonedazag
karlos2121

(If I have greeted any of yans before, congrats, cause you get another one) But for the most part, I don't think I've hit all of ya's. (And if I left any off, please accept my conglomerate apology).







Welcome "New Group of Posters"!!! Allow myself to introduce....myself...

I am woohoo, aka "WooLegalAdviseryCouncilHoo".


I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to law and general courtroom practioning. That's right, most people don't know this about me, but I passed the bar back in 1993, and have been practicing law ever since. I have actually even created new laws since then. For instance, did you know its now legal in Missouri to get a new dollar bill if you find one that has feces on it? Yep, thats all me right there. I have this problem of putting things in my mouth when I'm bored, and I would always swallow my money on accident. Then, when the money would exit my hind quarters, it would be all nasty. I tried using it in stores, and they refused it (mostly because it was no longer green in color I think). I checked the record books, and there is nothing saying you can't use poo covered money (now referred to as "fecal funds" because of me). So I submitted a special endorsement to the constitution (which is also called a "bill", per Schoolhouse Rock), and the law is now engraved in the constitution. Anyways, enough about my achievments...I have even represented many of the known posters on this board in different cases. Most of them, I have won. For example, did you know that you cannot legally kick your children out of your home? That's right. Just ask Rubbadub. I represented him in a case where his parents were trying to get him to move out of their basement. BUT....legally, if your child is still living in the basement, has no job, could pass for either a man or a woman, smells like Miracle Whip, and will more than likely die a virgin...there parent's CAN NOT kick them out of their home. Rub was pretty excited about that win, and its probably one of my biggest victories as well.
Then there was the case involving LongIslandZagFan. That was a doosy...and I actually lost this case though. I won't go into to much detail, but I STILL don't understand the big deal of having farm animals in a hotel room...I think the kicker was the fact that 2 of the animals committed suicide once taken to the animal shelter...
Oh, and I can't forget former1dog. Thanks to me, it is now legal to go jogging naked in the state of Washington, as long as you slightly resemble a naked female while you are jogging.

Anyways, I'd better get back to work. I just wanted to extend my welcome to all the new posters! Send me a PM to say hi every now and then!

WELCOME ABOARD!!!!

[gozagswoohoo]

Glad you saw it too. Since it was my first post, I figured someone might think I was crazy.

As I've been lurking awhile, I've seen a number of WooHoo's memorable welcomes. But I'm not holding my breath as it seems he's pretty busy with other things during the season.

WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!

Allow myself to introduce....myself...

I am Woohoo...aka The "WooStaplerBoyHoo".


I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to staplers. Staplers may not seem THAT exciting, but the corporate world would be LOST without them, and thats a fact. I became an expert in 1988 (the year the Steelers won their first superbowl). I actually invented the stapler back in the early 1980's. The first stapler was much more of a basic device than todays version. My original invention was consisted of 2 pieces of used cardboard, half a roll of scotch tape, 2 lemons, an old hair curler, and a small piece of thin metal (for the staple itself). Believe it or not, some of the very first users of my stapler are some of the posters on this very forum. For instance, Rubaddub used the first ever staple to hang a picture in his parents basement (where he still resides, 25 years later) of a New Kids on The Block poster, which he still has hanging above his bed. Also, the board legend, Bobzag, has a poster of Jessica Alba hanging in his bedroom. He didn't use the stapler to hang the poster, but he uses it to put clothes on her. What I mean by that, is...BZ is slightly odd...he will use construction paper and spend HOURS designing little clothing pieces from it, decorating the clothing with sequens and tinsel, and then use the stapler to staple the clothes onto the poster like he is dressing Jessica Alba. (It always kinda freaked me out)...but hey, it is better than the alternative...like my boy LongIslandZagFan, he does the same thing as BZ...only the poster is a picture of a naked Paul Reubans...


Anyways, enough about my inventions, WELCOME ABOARD LEWEY!!!


and ps- Yes, my welcomes are harder to come by during the season, but I was specially directed toward you, when someone alerted me via the WOOHOO BAT SIGNAL in the FOO Forum. Which, by the way, you need to check out.

[gozagswoohoo]

Hey there dezag!

Welcome to the board!!! Allow myself to introduce....myself...


I am woohoo, aka WooTaxGuyHoo.



I am pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to taxes. And that's actually pretty important since it is now tax season. I have been doing taxes since about 1979 (the year the Raiders won the Super Bowl), and have now been running my own tax office for the last 3 years. I do the taxes for most of the posters on this board actually. I guess everyone trusts me because I am really good with numbers, and even though I am states away from alot of these guys, I can get their taxes completed and returned to them by 8:00am their time (depending on what time zone I send it from, which...I think I am Central Midwest Time).
Anyways, speaking of doing taxes for some of the people on this board, let me tell you about a couple of them. I was able to get Rubbadub's parents over $5000 in refunds last year!!! How, might you ask?? Well...apparently, they didn't know that you can deduct meals for any children that are unemployed, have no girlfriend, and still live at home in your basement. And, our buddy Rub qualifies in all categories.
Then there is fellow poster drnoe. I got him a nice chunk of change back last year too. He didn't know this, but blow up dolls can be deducted, because they count as excersize tools (which is a legal deduction in only 3 states). But he was pretty excited, and deducted all 7 of his dolls.
And lastly, my friend 83Topper...he wasn't aware of this, but I got him over $10,000 worth of deductions for nudey movies he ordered on him TV. Which...is a nice deduction, but I still found the whole "barn animal" thing a little wierd...


Anyways, WELCOME ABOARD!!!!

[gozagswoohoo]

Welcome aboard zagsfanforlife! You're not the only new one today, so I'd like to extend this greeting to Hammer and LoveMyZags as well...


Allow myself to introduce.....myself....


I am Woohoo. Aka WooMovieProducerHoo.



I'm pretty much the coolest guy on this board when it comes to producing movies. I've been writing, directing, producing movies since around 1983 (the year the Toronto Blue Jays won a world series). The first movie I was ever a part of, I actually wrote, produced, directed, and did introductory lighting effects in. It was a movie about the life of myself, and followed me into my later years of retirement and such. When it was released, it came out at #4 in the box office for Flounders County in Missouri. I was pretty happy with it. Anyways, enough about me. I've actually been a part of a few movies involving some posters on this board. You are probably familiar with a movie titled "It's Dark in My Parent's Basement", starring Rubbadub. Great, great movie. The lighting was especially difficult since the entire thing was shot in his parent's basement. It was a PG rated film, because there was not even 1 scene involving a female...apparently that's a pretty common thing, no females with Rub in his parents basement...
Then there is the film I shot for Lothar. It really didn't do that well...Lothar played an old, unathletic, poor, ugly guy in the movie. It was called "The True Life Story of Lothar".
The last and most successful movie I have ever been a part of was called "MILF's Making A Living In The Streets of Vegas". It was starring the mother of a really cool poster named 83Topper. She is a PHENOMINAL actress...


Anyways, I'd better get back to work, but atleast now you guys know a little bit about some of the posters here.

WELCOME ABOARD!!!