Why did the soldier salute the refrigerator?
Zag for Life
Dad Joke Thread
Why did the soldier salute the refrigerator?
Zag for Life
Because it was a GENERAL Electric...
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar...
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The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve food here."
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Dad Joke Survivors
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Five stars!
Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right
Zag for Life
Never trust an atom.
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They make up everything.
Zag for Life
Zag for Life
An 80 year old Irish man go to the doctor for his annual physical. After checking him over, the Dr. says
"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age. How do you do it"?
Well, I play 18 holes of golf every day, drinking a shot of whiskey on every hole. When done, I relax and drink beer.
I certainly wouldn't recommend that for every one, but it seems to have worked for you. How old was your Dad when he died?
Who said my Dad is dead?
He's not?
Nope he plays golf with me every day and when the round is over he likes to take long walks on the beach!
Amazing, said the Doctor. So how old was your Grandfather when he died?
Who said he was dead?
Don't tell me...he plays golf with you every day too!
Well yes, but he didn't play today. He got married.
Why would any man his age want to get married?
Who said he wanted to!
It's not funny.
Zag for Life
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What are you doing, Adam? Do you even know how many people go blind from pizza shrapnel?
Zag for Life
Zag for Life
What is brown and rhymes with snoop?
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If you can't handle the confusion, stay out of the Foo!
Uber on GuBoards: "Pathetic. We've got posters just sleepwalking through threads."
No Foo for You!
Zag for Life
Dr. Dre!!!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T337A using Tapatalk
If you can't handle the confusion, stay out of the Foo!
Uber on GuBoards: "Pathetic. We've got posters just sleepwalking through threads."
No Foo for You!
Zag for Life
I heard this one from the neighbor kid. Obviously his Dad told him this one.
Why did the iPad go to the dentist?
It had bluetooth.
You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
Bulldog Fan
Why did the belt go to jail?
He held a pair of pants up.
Zag for Life
What’s a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?
Comet.
Zag for Life
How do ducks learn to fly?
They just wing it.
My 4 year old told me this one today. I thought he was asking a genuine question and then he gives me the punchline
Zag for Life
What do you get if you put salt on a Christmas card?
A seasoned greeting
You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
Zag for Life
Well, today was not a good day. I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a big mistake! I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, but caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn't stop.
Thank goodness the manager at Toys-R-Us came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my change so I wouldn't attempt to ride the Elephant.
Merry Christmas to all you foosters!
It's not funny.
Zag for Life
Haha! Those machines are surprisingly hard to find now! Outside of hiding in clothes racks and watching your mom frantically look for you, the kiddie rides were the best part of going shopping when I was a kid!Originally Posted by willandi
Zag for Life
What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A Pineapple
Zag for Life
What do you get when Santa goes down a chimney with a lit fireplace?
Crisp Kringle
Zag for Life
What do you buy a mummy for Christmas?
Gift Wrap
Zag for Life
How did Darth Vader know what Obi Wan got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
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