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Thread: Dad Joke Thread

  1. #76
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    Bay Area, CA
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    705

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    I'm only familiar with 25 letters of the English alphabet.

    I don't know why.
    My posts indicate that I don't seem to follow college basketball all that closely.

  2. #77
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    On an island that is long
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    Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be called bagels.
    "And Morrison? He did what All-Americans do. He shot daggers in the daylight and stole a win." - Steve Kelley (Seattle Times)

    "Gonzaga is a special place, with special people!" - Dan Dickau #21

    Foo me once shame on you, Foo me twice shame on me.

    2012 Foostrodamus - Foothsayer of Death

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    8,539

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    I had a dream last night, that I was Abraham Lincoln and I freed the slaves.
    It was a nocturnal manumission.
    I'm laughing. Why aren't you?

  4. #79
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    16,890

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    How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?


    One. Germans are very efficient and not very funny.
    'I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.'
    - Gandalf the Grey

    ________________________________



    Foo Time

  5. #80
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    8,539

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    I'm laughing. Why aren't you?

  6. #81
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    48,522

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    Seen on Twitter [@ItsAndyRyan ]

    Her: Who's your favorite literary vampire?
    Him: The one in Sesame Street
    Her: He doesn't count
    Him: I can assure you that he does

  7. #82
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Mom’s Basement
    Posts
    8,113

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    What did the ocean say to the beach?

    Nothing. He just waved.
    Gonzaga has defeated Baylor, Illinois, Virginia, Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, UCLA, Arizona, Creighton, Oklahoma, Florida State, Texas A&M, Oregon, Iowa, West Virginia, Auburn, USC, and Washington over just the past three seasons.

  8. #83
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    8,539

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    Two whales walk into a bar. The first whale walks up to the bar and says, "oooooOOOooooooOO".
    The second whale turns to the first and says, "Shut up Donnie, you're drunk."
    I'm laughing. Why aren't you?

  9. #84
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    On an island that is long
    Posts
    13,930

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    A priest, a minister, and a rabbit went to a blood bank. The nurse asked the rabbit "What is your blood type?" The rabbit replied "I think I might be a type O"
    "And Morrison? He did what All-Americans do. He shot daggers in the daylight and stole a win." - Steve Kelley (Seattle Times)

    "Gonzaga is a special place, with special people!" - Dan Dickau #21

    Foo me once shame on you, Foo me twice shame on me.

    2012 Foostrodamus - Foothsayer of Death

  10. #85
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    16,890

    Default Dad Joke Thread

    What happens when you boil your funny bone?



    You get a laughing stock.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Last edited by kitzbuel; 09-15-2021 at 05:43 PM.
    'I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.'
    - Gandalf the Grey

    ________________________________



    Foo Time

  11. #86
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Mom’s Basement
    Posts
    8,113

    Default

    Scientists have finally developed a technique to measure the weight of a rainbow...

    As it turns out, they’re pretty light...
    Gonzaga has defeated Baylor, Illinois, Virginia, Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, UCLA, Arizona, Creighton, Oklahoma, Florida State, Texas A&M, Oregon, Iowa, West Virginia, Auburn, USC, and Washington over just the past three seasons.

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    48,522

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    What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

    Aretha Franklins.

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    48,522

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    A bear walks into a bar.

    Bear: I’d like a… (waits a while) …beer please.

    Bartender: Why the big pause?

    Bear: I dunno, I’ve always had them.

  14. #89
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,724

    Default

    How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

    Meat Patty.

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