Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: How is this for a Weird Headline?

  1. #1
    El Voce Guest

    Default How is this for a Weird Headline?

    "Coffin makers in Malawi suffer as health programs improve"

    This is a headline I saw on Yahoo today. Damn do-gooders improve the health, and who gets hurt? The little guy making coffins.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Mt Fuji, Japan
    Posts
    31,262

    Default

    That's hilarious
    Go Zags!!! Just Foo'in around.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    46,929

    Default Army Corps dumps old bombs, charges town

    SURF CITY, N.J. - The Army Corps of Engineers, which accidentally dumped sand filled with old military ordnance on Surf City's beach, now wants the town to help pay to remove it.

    Local officials are angered by the suggestion that they should help foot the bill for a federal goof that already has cost the town an unknown amount of tourism business.

    "If they're talking about getting any money out of Surf City to pay for their mistakes, they can forget about it," Mayor Leonard T. Connors told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

    Army Corps spokesman Khaalid Walls said local governments are routinely asked to help pay for projects.

    "That's protocol. All our projects are cost-shared," Walls said.

    The town had to close its beach in March after World War I-era ordnance, including fuses and other military hardware, started surfacing in sand pumped ashore during a $71 million beach replenishment project.


    Basketball Web Sites Listing

    Respect the Game. Respect the Zags. Respect each other.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    46,929

    Default Smoker Requests Jail Time To Quit Habit

    DES MOINES, Iowa -- A Des Moines woman has volunteered to spend time in jail in order to quit smoking, reported KCCI-TV.

    Jodi Perkins said she's desperate to stop her 23-year habit.

    Perkins said she has tried just about everything to stop, such as going to the doctor, using patches and chewing gum. She said nothing has worked.


    "This is shameful. I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I need to be removed from the nicotine. Will power doesn't do it for me," Perkins said.

    Perkins said she called the Polk County Jail to see if officials would allow her to spend time there so she could get the nicotine out of her system.


    Basketball Web Sites Listing

    Respect the Game. Respect the Zags. Respect each other.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Mt Fuji, Japan
    Posts
    31,262

    Default

    Its odd how she has enough resolve to spend time in jail to kick the habit but not enough to quit with the methods mentioned...
    Go Zags!!! Just Foo'in around.

  6. #6
    El Voce Guest

    Default

    It will be more of thrill for her to have her relatives sneak smokes into her.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Tacoma WA
    Posts
    10,751

    Default

    Chicken and rice ends thief's toilet trauma

    KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - Dozens of bananas failed to do the trick but an Indian thief has finally produced a gold necklace he had snatched and then swallowed after police fed him a hearty meal of chicken, rice and local bread.
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Click here to find out more!Click Here

    Sheikh Mohsin, 35, grabbed the 45,000-rupee ($1,115) necklace from a woman in the eastern city of Kolkata Friday and popped it into his mouth when cornered by police.

    Officers then fed him 40 bananas over a few hours believing they would act as a purgative, and sat back and waited for results.

    Mohsin passed an uncomfortable night in jail, but not the piece of jewelry.

    Police said Sunday he was then given more substantial fare.

    "Now he wants to go free and doesn't want to even hear about bananas any more," senior officer Gyanwant Singh told Reuters.

    A tired and rueful Mohsin was, however, staring at 3 years in jail if convicted, Singh added.

    "Bananas were good enough for another thief who had swallowed an ornament a few months ago, but Mohsin was definitely a tough cookie," said one clearly impressed police constable.
    If you can't handle the confusion, stay out of the Foo!

    Uber on GuBoards: "Pathetic. We've got posters just sleepwalking through threads."

    No Foo for You!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Tacoma WA
    Posts
    10,751

    Default

    Fatter corpses cause hazard for mortuaries

    SYDNEY (Reuters) - More than two-thirds of Australians living outside major cities are overweight or obese, and extremely obese corpses are creating a safety hazard at mortuaries, according to two studies released Sunday.
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Click here to find out more!Click Here

    Nearly three quarters of men and 64 percent of women were overweight in a study of people in rural areas. Just 30 percent of those studied recorded a healthy weight, said research published in the Medical Journal of Australia.

    "Urgent action is required at the highest level to change unhealthy lifestyle habits by improving diet, increasing physical activity and making our environments supportive of these objectives," wrote the lead researcher, Professor Edward Janus.

    The figures were much higher than for the general population, where statistics show about 3.2 million of Australia's 21 million people are obese.

    Meanwhile, pathologists are calling for new "heavy-duty" autopsy facilities to cope with obese corpses that are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.

    The bodies presented "major logistical problems" and "significant occupational health and safety issues," according to a separate study, which found the number of obese and morbidly obese bodies had doubled in the past 20 years.

    Specially designed mortuaries would soon be required if the nation failed to curb its fat epidemic, providing "larger storage and dissection rooms, and more robust equipment," said Professor Roger Byard, a pathologist at the University of Adelaide.

    "Failure to provide these might compromise the post-mortem evaluation of markedly obese individuals, in addition to potentially jeopardizing the health of mortuary staff."

    In the past year, there have also been requests for larger crematorium furnaces, bigger grave plots as well as super-sized ambulances, wheelchairs and hospital beds.
    If you can't handle the confusion, stay out of the Foo!

    Uber on GuBoards: "Pathetic. We've got posters just sleepwalking through threads."

    No Foo for You!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    4,235

    Default

    I wear a helmet while internetting.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    18,241

    Default

    The world is simply bizarre.

    Since I am the foo expert on aliens - if there were some aliens monitoring and studying us, one has to believe they spend an inordinate amount of time laughing their a$$es off, basically doing what we do - - "hey, hey Greg-Gray, check this out, sometimes I wonder if we are the dumb ones for studying this crap, put this in the 'what the hell are we doing here file."

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    On an island that is long
    Posts
    12,891

    Default

    Hitting up a really really old thread started by my man El Voce...


    Man High on Meth, Fights Off 15 Cops While Masturbating
    "And Morrison? He did what All-Americans do. He shot daggers in the daylight and stole a win." - Steve Kelley (Seattle Times)

    "Gonzaga is a special place, with special people!" - Dan Dickau #21

    Foo me once shame on you, Foo me twice shame on me.

    2012 Foostrodamus - Foothsayer of Death

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Colville, Wa.
    Posts
    14,301

    Default

    What a show-off!!!


    (on several levels)
    This post is for March Madness seeding purposes only.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LongIslandZagFan View Post
    Hitting up a really really old thread started by my man El Voce...


    Man High on Meth, Fights Off 15 Cops While Masturbating
    A stroke of bad luck.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    On an island that is long
    Posts
    12,891

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Corky View Post
    A stroke of bad luck.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    "And Morrison? He did what All-Americans do. He shot daggers in the daylight and stole a win." - Steve Kelley (Seattle Times)

    "Gonzaga is a special place, with special people!" - Dan Dickau #21

    Foo me once shame on you, Foo me twice shame on me.

    2012 Foostrodamus - Foothsayer of Death

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Just north of I-80
    Posts
    46,929

    Default

    ( From the Reno Gazette-Journal Monday Print Edition)

    " Alice Little Named Companion of Year"

    " The title of 'Companion of the Year' is awarded to the highest-earning courtesan from the company's network of Nevada bordellos. . .Little brought in about $1.2 million in 2019, more than twice that of the second-highest earning sex worker."

    Said Little, "My sales figures indicate that people in this country are progressively embracing the services offered by sex workers."

    https://www.rgj.com/story/news/local...ty/4426565002/

    *************

    That's a lot of moolah for the boolah.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Colville, Wa.
    Posts
    14,301

    Default

    Reno, just sitting here at my desk laughing.


    Afraid to make any other comments than that.
    This post is for March Madness seeding purposes only.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    The Pub
    Posts
    7,200

    Default

    Yamaha Warns Musicians After Ghosn Escape: Don’t Climb In Instrument Cases

    https://www.huffpost.com/entry/yamah...b673621f6d17c1

    The corporation felt obliged to warn people not to try and squeeze inside musical instrument cases after reports former Nissan Motor boss Carlos Ghosn fled Japan concealed inside in one.
    MCMM 2020: Who Wants Some Cheese?

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    17,250 miles East of Spokane
    Posts
    17,665

    Default

    4 stars? Not on my watch!

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    6,597

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RenoZag View Post
    ( From the Reno Gazette-Journal Monday Print Edition)

    " Alice Little Named Companion of Year"

    " The title of 'Companion of the Year' is awarded to the highest-earning courtesan from the company's network of Nevada bordellos. . .Little brought in about $1.2 million in 2019, more than twice that of the second-highest earning sex worker."

    Said Little, "My sales figures indicate that people in this country are progressively embracing the services offered by sex workers."

    https://www.rgj.com/story/news/local...ty/4426565002/

    *************

    That's a lot of moolah for the boolah.
    I bet she worked her tail off!
    Hoping you have a sense of humor too!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •