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Thread: Funny things your kids say

  1. #1
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    Talking Funny things your kids say

    Okay, so I am thinking I need to start monitoring the types of tv shows/movies I watch in front of my kid... He will be three next month.

    This morning, I went to wake him up, and was laying in bed next to him as he woke up. He sits up in bed, and looks over at his closet, and says "Oh no! There's a monster in the closet, and he's gonna kill us and take our money!!"









    As most of you know, Mrs. Woohoo will be excreting our 2nd child in about 3.5 months, so she her belly is starting to get pretty big. Kaleb talks about the baby a lot, and it's really cute. Our aunt asked Kaleb when the baby will come, and Kaleb said "Mommy will go to the doctor, and pee him out." LOL...
    That's.....close.....but not quite how it works. haha
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  2. #2
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    My 6 yo daughter was commenting to my nephew, who has to pee like 5 minutes after he drinks anything, that she can hold it longer than him.

    She told him her penis was bigger than his. She couldn't understand why we were laughing until we told her we thought she meant bladder.
    'I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.'
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    Quote Originally Posted by kitzbuel View Post
    She told him her penis was bigger than his. She couldn't understand why we were laughing until we told her we thought she meant bladder.
    hahahahaha
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

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    When my daughter was little... TR came out as F... So you have the family.. Grandparents and all in the car and she points to the TRUCK next to us and tells everyone to look at the....
    "And Morrison? He did what All-Americans do. He shot daggers in the daylight and stole a win." - Steve Kelley (Seattle Times)

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    In church one Sunday, the priest has just finished his homily, and all was quiet when I noticed one of my sons - who was about three at the time - has his hand down the front of his pants. When I told him he needed to take his hand out in a loud clear voice heard by all he says - "but Dad my penis is up!"
    The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something.

  6. #6
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    Ha Ha.

    Sort of like when I gave my daughter some money to put in the offering and she says quite clearly 'Look Dad, it's George Washington!'

    I then say 'Don't be silly, that's um...uh, Grant'.
    'I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.'
    - Gandalf the Grey

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    My daughter just turned 3 so you can imagine she says a lot of funny stuff. A couple of my favorites are "Dad I am as hot as a chili pepper I am turning on the AC" and shortly after I had a bit of road rage "Dad you do know other people know how to drive to". The worst is when she hears me say something and repeats it. My brother in law lost his job so I tell my wife its time he gets a haircut and a real job. Next time we see him my daughter says "Uncle Willy its time you get a haircut and a real job'. Which didn't go over so great for me.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eroop22 View Post
    My daughter just turned 3 so you can imagine she says a lot of funny stuff. A couple of my favorites are "Dad I am as hot as a chili pepper I am turning on the AC" and shortly after I had a bit of road rage "Dad you do know other people know how to drive to". The worst is when she hears me say something and repeats it. My brother in law lost his job so I tell my wife its time he gets a haircut and a real job. Next time we see him my daughter says "Uncle Willy its time you get a haircut and a real job'. Which didn't go over so great for me.
    LOL

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  9. #9
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    hahahaha, these last few are PRICELESS.







    A couple days ago, I'm at the grocery store with my 2.5 year old, Kaleb. He is looking at tooth brushes, and see's a Spiderman tooth brush. There was a woman standing next to him, she was probably 40ish. Kaleb is holding the tooth brush, looking at her, and tries to get her attention (I'm guessing he wanted to show it to her). So he looks at her and says "hey............hey................hey". (She isn't looking back at him). "hey...............HEY!!...............HEY!!" I'm not sure why she didn't look at him, she obviously had to hear him, they were 3 feet apart from eachother. Anyways, Kaleb looks at me and says "That old lady won't talk to me". LOL. And of course, she DID hear that part.
    Allow myself to introduce....myself...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by a13coach View Post
    LOL

    Your name wouldn't be Bob would it
    Nope my name is not Bob.

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    A few years ago, I came home to find my wife giving my high-school age son holy hell about something. He stood there and took it.

    After she left the room, he said: "You know how Mom says menopause is killing her? Well, it's killing us worse."
    You have to love the Gonzaga fan. Not satisfied to be affronted merely by common hosings at the hands of ragtag referees, he plows all avenues of discontent. - John Blanchette

    Gonzaga University...Home of the Zags...The Bulldogs. If you pronounce it "Gone Zaw Ga," they'll know you're not from here and they may charge you more for your coffee. - Garrison Keillor

  12. #12
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    My daughters told me about a post that their cousin put on her Facebook today. I immediately thought of this thread and had them email me a copy of it. Here is that post by my niece,...... with names changed to generic reference to protect the guilty.

    I brought "my 5-year old daughter" to my work today. "She" and I went to the office manager to pick up my new RSA key ID generator (for VPN client that allows me to work remotely). She looked at it and said, "Oh, that's the thing that gives Mommy a day off”!



    I'm going to give my niece some slack here. I'm going to think that her daughter considers any day that mommy stays at home,....... even if she's on the computer working,...... in the world of my niece's daughter, it is a day off. (Reminds me of ZagSlug's signature.) But can you imagine my niece trying to explain that to the office manager? yikes.

    .

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    "Dad, can I get a Jeep Wagoneer with faux wood side panels?"


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    "The most interesting place exists between how people see themselves and how other people do." -- Wright Thompson

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    I took my 3 year old daughter to the park yesterday. She was looking through the fake telescope and I put her sweat shirt over the other end to block her view. She looked at me very seriously and said, "You're killing me dad."
    Bring back the OCC

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    My son was about 2.5 when we decided it would be necessary to get rid of our dog. He loved screaming at her, chasing her, and pulling on her tail. She, however, did not enjoy it, and eventually snapped at him. (At the time, I think I even begged hubby to keep the dog & get rid of the kid -- we all know how 2 year olds can be.) My son was quite upset about the dog having to leave. I told him that "she just wasn't working out & it was time to find a new home where she could be happy."

    We also have a daughter, who is almost exactly 2 years younger. As a baby, she was a screamer. That girl had some lungs! One night, at dinner, she was going at it, screaming for something. With a completely straight & honest face, my son looked at me and said, "Mommy, I think it's time to find a new home for her. She just isn't working out."
    ...and there definitely is no such thing as Prince Charming.

  16. #16
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    A little back story first. My wife had a flat tire a few weeks back.
    A week or two later my daughter said dad since the snow is gone can I ride around in my Barbie Jeep. Being the cool dad I am I said sure. I go out to the garage and get her jeep and set it down in the drive way. My daughter looks at it kicks one of the tires and shakes her head. Then she said dad I cant drive this its got a flat tire just like moms POS.

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    My 2 year old, on a recent road trip with out any prompting said in his deepest voice:

    "Luke, I am your father."

  18. #18
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    Yesterday, my 2 year old was at my office eating lunch with me. A gal that works for me, popped her head in and told him how cute he was. After she stepped out, he looked at me and said, "I AM cute."

  19. #19
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    A couple months back, my 2 year old and I were saying bed time prayers, he added a few individuals to the "God Bless list"

    including

    Darth Vader
    Batman
    Brachiosaurus

  20. #20
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    When I ask my 2 year old where Batman lives, he says:

    "In his car."

  21. #21
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    A few good ones F1D.
    Here is another recent one from my daughter. Back story my wife rarely cooks she claims its because I get off work at 3 and she doesn't until after 5. When truth be told its because I can cook and she isn't very good at it. Well my wife decides she is cooking dinner last Saturday. My daughter looks at me and tries to whisper Dad I don't think that is a very good idea maybe we should call Papa Johns just in case.

  22. #22
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    My 4 y/o little girl has started saying the funniest things when she is mad at us (b/c she has to bathe or has to pick up her toys) she will say "and I am not going to ever again, show's over, end of story, thanks for coming" - - I know that sounds like something she would get from us, but we can't recall ever using those words, she has to have picked it up from one of the funny movies i.e. Up, Shrek, Ice Age

  23. #23
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    I was just taking a shower. When I opened up the shower curtain to grab my towel I found my daughter sitting on the toilet going potty. I asked her why she needed to use that toilet when we have four bathrooms in the house. She said "because I want to." Good point.
    Bring back the OCC

  24. #24
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    My little girl was outside helping me with yard work.

    She tells me she can tell when I cut the lawn.....

    I asked, "How"?

    She replies, "Because you have mow all over your feet....."
    IZF
    Keep out of the Foo, unless you know what you are fooing.......

  25. #25
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    My little girl and I were trimming the roses.

    She says, "Daddy, these roses sure have a lot of pokes on them......"
    IZF
    Keep out of the Foo, unless you know what you are fooing.......

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