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Thread: Things, I am learning as I get older...post pads!

  1. #1
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    Default Things, I am learning as I get older...post pads!

    In search of the Holy FOO Grail....

    I've learned....
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  2. #2
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    Default 1.

    Never argue with a crazy person.
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  3. #3
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    Default 2.

    Don't be cheap with your dates, or you won't get any.
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    Default 3.

    When everything else fails, lower your standards.
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  5. #5
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    Default 4.

    When involved in a one-way conversation, learn to meditate and hum...ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha ah ha.
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  6. #6
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    Default 5.

    Remember to kiss your boss' butt, forget, everyone else you work with. They can only give you grief.
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    Default 6.

    Always marry for money, happines can be bought!
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    Default 7.

    Yin - Yan

    If you are high, you eventually have to crash!
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    Default 8.

    Why don't fast food fries taste good after 15 minutes?
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    Default 9.

    Why do I love fried foods?
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  11. #11
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    Default 10.

    I can't eat anything that still has the head and eyes in tact.
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  12. #12
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    Default 11.

    Why do I have to pay taxes?
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  13. #13
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    Default 12.

    I hate doing taxes.
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    Default 13.

    Why does my tax accountant sound like he is speaking a foreign language?
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    Default 14.

    If you feel the room spinning, then, it's time to put down the beer.
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    Default 15.

    When you are sucking a hose attached to your neighbor's car gas tank, be sure to stop sucking when the gas touches your lips.
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    Default 16.

    If you marry for looks and she is dumb. You will have good looking dumb kids.
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    Default 17.

    It feels better peeing, standing up...unless, you go #2.
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    Default 18.

    The warranty starts wearing off, as you get older.
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    Default 19.

    Don't get a dog, unless, you like picking up poop!
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    Default 20.

    If a bum asks you for money, just point to your mouth, and say real loud, "I am deaf!"
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    Default 21.

    If you piss in the wind....it comes back.
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    Default 22.

    If you go in an outhouse, look out for the bees.
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    Default 23.

    Wine is healthy, specially in great quantities.
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    Default 24.

    Fast cars are for fast people.
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