Sonics Stuff

I would argue that how we choose to see the Heat and Thunder is a litmus test. It’s a litmus test that reveals how the sports radio obsession with villainizing twenty-first-century athletes blinds us to the swelling number of villains who inhabit the owner’s box. And in Oklahoma City, we have the kinds of sports owners whose villainy should never be forgotten.

Strip away the drama and the Heat are called “evil” because their star players exercised free agency and—agree or disagree with their decision—took control of their own careers. The Thunder are praised for doing it the “right way,” but no franchise is more caked in original sin than the team from Oklahoma City. Their owners, Clay Bennett and Aubrey McClendon, with an assist from NBA Commissioner David Stern, stole their team with the naked audacity of Frank and Jesse James from the people of Seattle.

While Bennett said all the right things about keeping the Sonics in Seattle, a team executive dinner on September 9, 2006, tells you all you need to know about the man and his motives. On that fine evening, the Sonics management, all held over from the previous ownership regime, all Pacific Northwesters, gathered in Oklahoma to meet the new boss. Bennett made sure they were sent to a top restaurant, and picked up the bill. As the Seattle execs sat down, four plates of a deep fried appetizer were put on the table. After filling their mouths with the crispy goodness, one asked the waitress what this curious dish with a nutty flavor actually was. It was lamb testicles. Bennett laughed at their discomfort and the message was clear: the Sonics could eat his balls.

Schultz listens as more praise is ladled on the Thunder. He begins to suffer Bennett-envy. He's had these symptoms before.

"Life is so unfair," Schultz groans. "I should be the toast of Seattle right now, not the espresso roast. I should be there at center court, like I was with the Storm in 2004, basking in the glory of this run. Taking credit for something I had very little to do with. I'm good at that.

"This should be my time. Why did my trigger finger have to get so itchy? Why didn't I listen to some of my other owners, who begged me not to sell the team to some guy with a roving eye and an ache, like I once had, to be a hometown hero?

After filling their mouths with the crispy goodness, one asked the waitress what this curious dish with a nutty flavor actually was. It was lamb testicles.

In fairness one of the great tragedies, not having a team in Seattle, they had, they were the greatest fans

To feel the heartache, you must find the biggest heart. And on the first night of the NBA Finals it literally and figuratively belonged to Lorin "Big Lo" Sandretzky, who sat in the corner of a bar owned by former Seattle SuperSonics forward Shawn Kemp and stared sadly at the television.

Big Lo is something of a legend in Seattle. He calls himself "Seattle's Biggest Sports Fan," and at 417 pounds he probably is. When Seattle sports teams arrive home from long trips, Big Lo is the first person they see, standing alone by the side of the hanger. Once, when the Sonics flew back in a snowstorm, the players climbed off the plane to discover Big Lo had shoveled their cars from out of the drifts.

That was back when Sonics coach Nate McMillan bought Lo's Sonics season ticket in the third row behind the basket. It seemed to McMillan the least he could do. But that was also back when the SuperSonics existed, before they moved to Oklahoma City in 2008 and became the Thunder and before the Thunder made the Finals, which was tearing Big Lo apart.

"I'm like a lost little kid," Big Lo said. "When you're a kid you try to make sense of things. This is one of the things I can't make any sense of. It's like losing your favorite childhood toy or a friend."

I may have to be tricked into trying it like those executives were. I don't doubt that it probably tastes great.

Whether [Gary Payton will] be in attendance at the Thursday parade in Seattle the show support for bringing an NBA team back to the city:
"I sure will. I get into Seattle on Wednesday and I'm going to have a good time. When I come to Seattle I always have a good time. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Like I said, it's time for us to get our team back. This is a great proposal on the desk right now for the Seattle people and the politicians in Seattle. I think we should go ahead with this, we're never going to have this opportunity again. Let's go ahead and let's lock this up, and let's get NBA and the NHL back and let's start having fun again in the Emerald City. And I think that's what we need."