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To: Birddog
From: Bowser
Re: SnapCo, LLC Status Report
Date: December 19, 2007
I made the mistake of perusing the GU Board and now wonder just what in Hades we have created. Given the urgency of the matter, you need to get to Stillwater or wherever in Oklafrigginhoma you need to be, ASAP.
If it wasn’t bad enough that WooHoo thought the RFP for sexual harassment coverage was an invitation to become a principal in the firm, he also tried to solicit some Playboy bunny to be a spokesmodel [way too skinny in my estimation/ hip-to-waist ratio way, way off]. Apparently his new wife is royally PO’d and rightly so, at least procedurally. I’m hoping your good looks and aw shucks country mannerisms can smooth this over. If anyone can handle this you can. I told you the experience with Jane and Gunther would eventually pay off.
Moreover, as an old coot, you need to mentor WooHoo on the spousal buy-out gambit. He’s young but he needs to learn to never promise anything tangible like jewelry. [Kobe is a nitwit in this regard.] My “Our love is not a commodity” line usually works. [Swoon City. LOL] Otherwise you keep getting leveraged up.
If that were not enough, it gets worse. WH is also trying to hook up with one of our authentic GU spokesmodels. She’s going to the Okie game. She’s married. This is a train wreck. NB: We are trying to run a lingerie business here not a political campaign. Anyway, the expense account is wide open on this one.
I also think we need to explore the possibility of another business line. Are you still hooked into that orthopod group. Reading the Zag news, we could really use some technological innovation to create products for ankle, knee and foot protection. I’m one more rolled ankle from completely losing it.
[BTW, have you seen the new Cadillac commercial? It features a more mature gal who wants her car to reciprocate when she “turns it on.” Pretty stupid when you think about it. But I have always been a sucker for a gal in a turtleneck. Especially blue. It’s why I stopped snow skiing. I think we need to interview her. We have not really concentrated on this demographic.]
On the bright side, your idea on the codpieces was genius as usual. With the yellow piping on the green, sales, particularly in the Bay Area, are surging. Apparently they are being stuffed in stockings all over Northern California. Go figure.
Oh, and Frank is completely bummed that his Musketeers got routed by the Sun Devils. Too bad.
Your Pal, Bowser
From: Bowser
Re: SnapCo, LLC Status Report
Date: December 19, 2007
I made the mistake of perusing the GU Board and now wonder just what in Hades we have created. Given the urgency of the matter, you need to get to Stillwater or wherever in Oklafrigginhoma you need to be, ASAP.
If it wasn’t bad enough that WooHoo thought the RFP for sexual harassment coverage was an invitation to become a principal in the firm, he also tried to solicit some Playboy bunny to be a spokesmodel [way too skinny in my estimation/ hip-to-waist ratio way, way off]. Apparently his new wife is royally PO’d and rightly so, at least procedurally. I’m hoping your good looks and aw shucks country mannerisms can smooth this over. If anyone can handle this you can. I told you the experience with Jane and Gunther would eventually pay off.
Moreover, as an old coot, you need to mentor WooHoo on the spousal buy-out gambit. He’s young but he needs to learn to never promise anything tangible like jewelry. [Kobe is a nitwit in this regard.] My “Our love is not a commodity” line usually works. [Swoon City. LOL] Otherwise you keep getting leveraged up.
If that were not enough, it gets worse. WH is also trying to hook up with one of our authentic GU spokesmodels. She’s going to the Okie game. She’s married. This is a train wreck. NB: We are trying to run a lingerie business here not a political campaign. Anyway, the expense account is wide open on this one.
I also think we need to explore the possibility of another business line. Are you still hooked into that orthopod group. Reading the Zag news, we could really use some technological innovation to create products for ankle, knee and foot protection. I’m one more rolled ankle from completely losing it.
[BTW, have you seen the new Cadillac commercial? It features a more mature gal who wants her car to reciprocate when she “turns it on.” Pretty stupid when you think about it. But I have always been a sucker for a gal in a turtleneck. Especially blue. It’s why I stopped snow skiing. I think we need to interview her. We have not really concentrated on this demographic.]
On the bright side, your idea on the codpieces was genius as usual. With the yellow piping on the green, sales, particularly in the Bay Area, are surging. Apparently they are being stuffed in stockings all over Northern California. Go figure.
Oh, and Frank is completely bummed that his Musketeers got routed by the Sun Devils. Too bad.
Your Pal, Bowser
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