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Bird:
Been a long time Bro. Sorry I missed the SnapCo anniversary. I was busy. I am sure you remember SnapCo had to discontinue the lingerie line after the unfortunate series of eye injuries on the cruise ship to St. Maarten. So you know I couldn't just run into the warehouse this year and grab a handful of thongs for Mrs. Bowser. That shopping #### takes time and even though most gals immediately mark me as a romantic, I have never much been into retail gifting. Stressful. And Flora refuses to do personal shopping. She's a clean freak and the water bills for refilling the hot tub are killing me.
Had to lay low for awhile because I had plans to visit Spokane for one of those reunion things. The Administration is still a little touchy over us filling the Kennel air bazookas with SnapCo lingerie instead of t-shirts. Long memories. Anyway I made my way around the campus. Good God that place has changed. When I walked into the new COG, I thought I was in the Portland airport: the food spots, the banks, the lounges, etc. Not the same ####hole from the 70s. I strolled around for a couple hours. I guess the restraining order[s] had expired because no one hassled me. I can't keep track anyway. Our lawyers can't even run an Excel spreadsheet to save their asses.
Didn't watch many games this year due to technical problems. Screw Comcast. And ESPN. Wasn't invited to the Puddletown game this year and Phil Knight blacklisted me for PK80. Lurked GUB the last couple of months. Holy ####. I didn't know whether to call Dr. Phil or Dr. Ruth. The place was a mess. Rather than celebrating the season, boy, people were getting pissy. And nobody does poetry or haikus anymore, not that I think that's not a good idea. Dr. Phil refused to take my calls [should have comped him the "Bufurd ####er" when he asked]. Dr. Ruth had a couple ideas but I told her there wasn't enough Viagra or Irish whiskey or body paint. She laughed. She also said to say hi.
Gotta say I am pumped about our [our?] chances in the tourney. I got a strange sense, I think this team is going to keep surprising people. You know the under 30 crowd doesn't have our old guy POV; they don't understand the Gonzaga Chip. I'm sensing a chip, big time. [Nevertheless, I do think UNCG is going to give us a tough time.] Been running the final three minutes of the 99 Florida game [I know our era has the damn thing memorized] to the point Mrs. B has been throwing beer bottles at me [Trust me, her aim has improved since you last saw her.] and the grandkids are whining they want to see the "real Cinderella, Grandpa". I tell them to sit their butts down and learn something. But I'm pretty chill for a Boomer.
I don't know if I should take the time to post on GUB. I mean what's the point? The hot oil massage stories get pretty old especially when a sense of decorum prevents you from describing each of the gals with precision. I know: family site. It's not like I can take an Akron fan to the Acropolis every year. And we're in Boise not Wallace for God's sake. Even without all of that you know how prone I am to vulgarity and innuendo [the bad kind], especially this time of the year. And when I'm sober. Not sure if the good folks of Greensboro deserve that. Not sure the GUB regulars can take it either. Whatever. We will keep winning until we lose.
BTW you shouldn't have dumped your SnapCo stock. Talking to Bezos in the a.m.
Your Pal,
Bowser
Been a long time Bro. Sorry I missed the SnapCo anniversary. I was busy. I am sure you remember SnapCo had to discontinue the lingerie line after the unfortunate series of eye injuries on the cruise ship to St. Maarten. So you know I couldn't just run into the warehouse this year and grab a handful of thongs for Mrs. Bowser. That shopping #### takes time and even though most gals immediately mark me as a romantic, I have never much been into retail gifting. Stressful. And Flora refuses to do personal shopping. She's a clean freak and the water bills for refilling the hot tub are killing me.
Had to lay low for awhile because I had plans to visit Spokane for one of those reunion things. The Administration is still a little touchy over us filling the Kennel air bazookas with SnapCo lingerie instead of t-shirts. Long memories. Anyway I made my way around the campus. Good God that place has changed. When I walked into the new COG, I thought I was in the Portland airport: the food spots, the banks, the lounges, etc. Not the same ####hole from the 70s. I strolled around for a couple hours. I guess the restraining order[s] had expired because no one hassled me. I can't keep track anyway. Our lawyers can't even run an Excel spreadsheet to save their asses.
Didn't watch many games this year due to technical problems. Screw Comcast. And ESPN. Wasn't invited to the Puddletown game this year and Phil Knight blacklisted me for PK80. Lurked GUB the last couple of months. Holy ####. I didn't know whether to call Dr. Phil or Dr. Ruth. The place was a mess. Rather than celebrating the season, boy, people were getting pissy. And nobody does poetry or haikus anymore, not that I think that's not a good idea. Dr. Phil refused to take my calls [should have comped him the "Bufurd ####er" when he asked]. Dr. Ruth had a couple ideas but I told her there wasn't enough Viagra or Irish whiskey or body paint. She laughed. She also said to say hi.
Gotta say I am pumped about our [our?] chances in the tourney. I got a strange sense, I think this team is going to keep surprising people. You know the under 30 crowd doesn't have our old guy POV; they don't understand the Gonzaga Chip. I'm sensing a chip, big time. [Nevertheless, I do think UNCG is going to give us a tough time.] Been running the final three minutes of the 99 Florida game [I know our era has the damn thing memorized] to the point Mrs. B has been throwing beer bottles at me [Trust me, her aim has improved since you last saw her.] and the grandkids are whining they want to see the "real Cinderella, Grandpa". I tell them to sit their butts down and learn something. But I'm pretty chill for a Boomer.
I don't know if I should take the time to post on GUB. I mean what's the point? The hot oil massage stories get pretty old especially when a sense of decorum prevents you from describing each of the gals with precision. I know: family site. It's not like I can take an Akron fan to the Acropolis every year. And we're in Boise not Wallace for God's sake. Even without all of that you know how prone I am to vulgarity and innuendo [the bad kind], especially this time of the year. And when I'm sober. Not sure if the good folks of Greensboro deserve that. Not sure the GUB regulars can take it either. Whatever. We will keep winning until we lose.
BTW you shouldn't have dumped your SnapCo stock. Talking to Bezos in the a.m.
Your Pal,
Bowser
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