View Full Version : Breaking News

Angelo Roncalli
01-16-2013, 10:35 AM
Bowser will be attending the Portland game.

01-16-2013, 10:42 AM
So the Hun comes out of his cave, ay?

Angelo Roncalli
01-16-2013, 10:43 AM
So the Hun comes out of his cave, ay?

More like a cabernet in its prime being taken out of the wine cellar.

Buckle up.

01-16-2013, 10:44 AM
This is epic. Has Snapco come out of chapter 11? Somehow I missed that in this morning's Wall Street Journal.....

01-16-2013, 11:10 AM
Nuts. I've got to miss this (am needed in Washington DC Thursday through Tuesday).

01-16-2013, 11:24 AM
Nuts. I've got to miss this (am needed in Washington DC Thursday through Tuesday).

Your avatar: Is that Halloween's Michael Meyers in goal?

01-16-2013, 12:08 PM
Let's not forget that Uber will also be attending the Portland game. Assuming he remembers the correct start time and someone drags his a$$ out of the bar...

01-16-2013, 12:48 PM
Bowser will be attending the Portland game.

So watch out for Mario and Luigi as well.

01-16-2013, 01:18 PM
It appears that Bowser's last post was March 12.

Free Bowser!!!

01-16-2013, 02:26 PM
No computer terminals in the lock-up?

01-16-2013, 03:52 PM
No computer terminals in the lock-up?
When your on the down-low you don't want to leave an electronic signature.

01-16-2013, 05:32 PM
This is epic. Has Snapco come out of chapter 11? Somehow I missed that in this morning's Wall Street Journal....

Not exaxctly, Bowser drove SnapCo over it's own fiscal cliff some months back. We might as well have had Toonces the cat at the wheel. He keeps promising some magic to be produced by a cadre of lawyers but I have serious doubts. I think he is still spending a lot of time in the hot tub with Bambi and friends when he isn't wasting time on FB.

01-16-2013, 05:35 PM
What is the Zags' track record for games Bowser attends ? My bookie is asking . . .

(for amusement purposes only)

01-16-2013, 10:55 PM
Some washed-up nobody named Lothar will also be there.

01-16-2013, 11:03 PM
Some washed-up nobody named Lothar will also be there.

Good to know that nobody is somewhere.

01-17-2013, 12:27 AM
SnapCo : A Company Stretched to Its Limits - Part I

SnapCo, once hailed as the industry leader in thongs and in athletic codpieces, announced on January 16, the return of John "Bowser" McGrath, its fiery CEO and co-founder, after a mysterious ten month absence. According to insiders, McGrath will make his first public appearance this Thursday night when Gonzaga faces the University of Portland in West Coast Conference basketball in Portland, Oregon.

It was at a prior match-up that McGrath got involved in a shoving match with Nike founder Phil Knight reportedly in an argument about the use of East Asian sweatshops in a joint venture to manufacture a revolutionary thong fabric. Nike officials have denied the claim suggesting the altercation was about Jennifer Hudson. Sources say that security personnel have doubled for tomorrow's contest even though Knight is reportedly in Philadelphia in an attempt to buy a controlling interest in the Philadelphia Eagles. McGrath will be escorted by corporate attorneys.

Corporate spokesman have remained tight-lipped, denying rumors McGrath either had been detained in a foreign country, reportedly Thailand, or had been laying low while the statute of limitations ran on a slew of civil actions. Some claimed he was holed up in Central America with software millionaire Peter Norton. None could be verified. However, something was clearly wrong when he failed to post on the Gonzaga internet board prior to this year's game against St. Mary's.

Sources familiar with the company pointed to personal problems. "The guy just got spaced out. I don't even think it registered they were playing St. Mary's. Maybe it woke him up. You know Bowser was always talking Gonzaga basketball. It was always Zags this Zags that. Every new product included a Gonzaga prototype. Then it got weird. He kept talking about Zach Gourde having a break-out year and hoping Ammo wouldn't go pro and how he was sucking suds with Fitz. And dude that was like last year. He was like in a time warp. We haven't had a hot tub at the plant for six months. And he kept forgetting that new regulations prohibit us from rubbing hot oil on spokesmodels during job interviews." With the dramatic plunge in sales coupled with the product liability claims for catastrophic elastic failure, the lack of a clear vision, the blow-up with Phil Knight and the meddling of corporate ingénue Jane Austen, SnapCo was and remains in trouble.

"We might have gotten a little bit over the tips of our skis." Bowser McGrath

SnapCo has always been associated with Gonzaga basketball much to the chagrin of the Jesuit university. Although SnapCo co-founder Alphonso "Birddog" McDougal is a Gonzaga alum like McGrath, neither he nor McGrath had met prior to meeting on a nascent internet site devoted to Gonzaga basketball. In February of 2005, McGrath and McDougal were trading barbs on an internet thread about proper Valentine's Day gifts for their wives and the topic of lingerie, specifically thongs, came up. According to McDougal, who also served as the iconic bike rider in a popular series of Fat Tire Beer commercials, a business enterprise was not on their minds. "Well like most married guys, we had waited til the last minute to take care of this Valentine obligation. We were stumped. Then he said he had an idea. He said he had heard about some Model 4811 thong that was hot with the supermodels. Bowser was always surprising like that. Out of the blue he remembered some Wall Street Journal article about thongs. Kept saying that they were buttery smooth. I really thought he was just jacking me around."

But he wasn't. The Gwendolyn Bounds article "A Tiny Scrap of Fabric Wins a Huge Following" appeared on page A-1 of the June 18, 2004 edition of the Wall Street Journal. Problem was neither of them could find the product in local stores before February 14. Instead their disappointed wives got perfume and Whitman's Samplers. But from that inventory problem a business was born. Thongs put the snap in SnapCo and put an end to Whitman's Samplers, eventually turning the sports apparel business upside down and possibly saving a marriage.

Part 2 : Turning the Other Cheek - "Our preference is that he remain working."

01-17-2013, 01:08 AM
ZagaZags will be at San Diego game 4 rows behind Gonzaga bench. I will be the guy yelling go Zags when SD is shooting FTs and Jenny Craig is quiet.

01-17-2013, 09:02 AM
SnapCo: "The view from Gotebo" reprinted with permission of the Journal Record. October 2012

The building that once was humming with SnapCo production stands empty, dusty and covered with cobwebs. Every time there is a gust of wind outside dust blows through the cracks in the metal siding of the building and lands in piles reminiscent of the dust bowl days. Prior to SnapCo this old relic housed the cotton gin in what was once a bustling small SW OK town.
It would be easy to say that SnapCo's fate was the result of the oil boom and the Mississippian play in NW OK, but that wouldn't tell the whole story.

Just 7 months ago, Alphonso "Birddog" McDougal was positively giddy as the production crew from A&E was celebrating the completion of their month long taping with a wrap party at the plant. The whole crew had become Zag fans (due in large part to Birddog's infectious enthusiasm) and had just watched them knock off WVU in the NCAA Tournament game. Voices were horse as every time a shot of Spangler was on TV, the Okies went nuts. Toasts were made to the Zags and to the future of the show tentatively named "Gotebo". Trailers of the show's opening had been viewed and cheered as the helicopter shot zoomed over the dusty fields, across the N. Canadian River and headed straight for the grain elevator before banking off and over the plant with "SnapCo" clearly visible on the side of the building. The resemblance to the opening shot of "Dallas" was intentional but the similarity ends there as Gotebo is nothing like Las Colinas.

Executive producer Harry Mootzoff was aside Birddog trying to convince him that he needed to take a bigger role in the taping of future shows. The reluctant Birddog (who bears a striking resemblance to Barry Weiss) was deferring, saying that the first three shows in the can that featured plant employees on the production line (think Duck Dynasty) and off in their spare time noodling and chasing "Bigfoot" was more than enough. Mootzoff would have none of it, insisting that Birddog needed to be in a more prominent role. He was claiming that the new show would embody the best of "Duck Dynasty" and "Storage Wars" without the cheesy spinoff look of "Storage Wars Texas". Mootzoff even wanted to head to Wishram and possibly introduce Bowser. Birddog told me that he figured Mootzoff wanted Bowser to create the element of tension in the new series. Birddog had to admit to Mootzoff that there was this thing about Bowser, "the camera loves him".

During a long evening throwing down Fat Tires and muching on Lamb Fries, Birddog agreed to Mootzoff's request and a call was placed to Bowser to gauge his interest. Bowser claimed to be in Wishram at the time, but telephone logs that were dug up later indicated that he was either in Belize or Thailand utilizing a sophisticated call forwarding system to cover his tracks. Bowser who in person resembles a cross between Jimmy Johnson and Donald Trump was no doubt doing some hot tubbing with the likes of Ginger, Bambi, and Fonda as expense reports would later indicate.

Mootzoff and the A&E crew left and all looked rosy as Bowser had agreed to open the Wishram plant and a date for shooting had been decided upon. No promises were made by Mootzoff, but he made the last toast of the evening
"to the next Duck Dynasty". For the next 6 weeks nothing was heard from either Mootzoff or Bowser. Birddog suspected the worst, that Mootzoff and Bowser were in Thailand together and that the revelry was going to kill the pilot and Snapco. The production guys and gals at Gotebo all jumped ship and headed N to Alva to go to work on the rigs. The plant was closed and the only communication with Bowser was his weekly expense report which was getting out of hand. Pedicures and something called a "Feticure" was prominent on at least one.

Now 7 months later I'm standing in the empty building that once bustled with activity. Gotebo has endured 100 days of 100* and the fall winds are blowing again. A gust comes up and the building groans and creaks under the relentless strain. I see a half empty box of elastic and roll of Spandex fabric on the bench. Cobwebs shimmer in the faint light, red Oklahoma dust piles up in the corner and I can't help but picture a future documentary. In just a few months Snapco has gone from the next "Duck Dynasty" to a possible Ken Burns feature.

01-17-2013, 10:03 AM
PORTLAND - Sources within the Portland Police Bureau tell us that the Bureau has assigned its horse-mounted patrol to division to the University of Portland campus for this evening's men's basketball game with Gonzaga. While the Bureau has publicly downplayed the potential for unrest, it is clearly bracing for an unruly crowd.

Compounding the concern are internet rumors that individuals associated with the near defunct SnapCo lingerie manufacturer will also attend the contest. Authorities are interested in questioning two individuals in particular, known only by their internet street names: Uber and Lothar. Much like co-founder John "Bowser" McGrath, "Lothar", a Will Ferrell look-alike, also disappeared for a long period of time until re-appearing as part of the SnapCo network. Authorities are interested in his and Uber's whereabouts yesterday when a Portland woman became wedged between two buildings in the City requiring an emergency response from the Fire Bureau.

01-17-2013, 11:07 AM
who the h@#$ needs a basketball team?


01-17-2013, 05:04 PM
who the h@#$ needs a basketball team?


:clap: :clap: :clap:

Oregon Zag
01-17-2013, 06:54 PM
That's why I love this forum!

01-18-2013, 10:18 AM
What happened to all you spinners of fine yarns ??? At the actual event ?

The various buildups demand followups. Thanks !

01-18-2013, 11:05 AM
What happened to all you spinners of fine yarns ??? At the actual event ?

The various buildups demand followups. Thanks !

We can't get into all the details now because of SEC regulations on the quiet period before an initial public offering.

I do think I can state with a high degree of confidence, without spooking Wall Street, that the rumors of Snapco's corporate death have been greatly exaggerated, and that plans are afoot to engineer a corporate turnaround that would make Lee Iococca proud.

Also, the game was fun. Uber and his wife actually made it to the arena from the bar before the 8 minute timeout in the first half this year--a new personal best.

And while Olynik's game was pretty good on paper, the top performance of the evening may have been put in by yours truly, insofar as I was able to get out of Portland's Chiles Center, get on 1-5, and make it to Seattle in time to drop off the Pontiff and make the 12:15 ferry to Bainbridge with a few minutes to spare. If I had not insisted that he give the Heisman to the throngs seeking autographs after the game this would not have happened.

Angelo Roncalli
01-18-2013, 11:10 AM
229's hasty exit from the Portropolis area was in no small part motivated by his desire to get out of the Chiles center and get into his car to listen to the latest Ron White CD on the way back to Seattle. I understand 229 will be seeking to claim 2 hours of audio-visual continuing legal education credits for the listening experience based on White's stories of being sued for disparagement and being arrested for marijuana possession.

01-18-2013, 11:15 AM
Progress: Bowser went all 40 minutes without being thrown out of the gym this year. In fact, I am almost certain he wasn't even given a warning.

Not sure what's wrong, but this was a notable departure from pretty much all prior excursions down there.

01-18-2013, 11:21 AM
If I would have known about this sooner, I would have made the trek down to PDX with Bong Krosby to share war stories over burritos.

01-18-2013, 11:31 AM
Did anybody at Chiles spot Jane?

01-18-2013, 11:53 AM
Progress: Bowser went all 40 minutes without being thrown out of the gym this year. In fact, I am almost certain he wasn't even given a warning.

Not sure what's wrong, but this was a notable departure from pretty much all prior excursions down there.

medical marijuana.

01-18-2013, 07:54 PM
To: Birddog
From: Bowser
Re: Puddletown Wrap

Well, another circus-like atmosphere at the Pimpledome and based on circumstances I contributed little to it. Flanked by our legal muscle and two pretty hot former IDF female bodyguards [for the record, a brunette and a blonde both decked out in Gonzaga gear], I couldn't get into much trouble. I spotted one of our security guys lurking around. How did I spot him? Put him in a white robe and stick a staff in his paws and you've got Saroman. Yeah, he blended. No orcs though. And too tall to be Sinto.

The Pope seemed to draw most of the attention. Indulgences must be part of his new business because a lot of people would come up to him and stuff wads of cash into his pocket and nod their heads without losing eye contact. Like he was a Sicilian priest or a Corsican stripper or something. Speaking of, I didn't spot Jane, but from the looks on the refs faces, she wasn't too far away.

I pretty much knew the Zags were going to win 21 min and 30 sec before the game started. It was a given when the Pilot Band revved up "Fat-Bottomed Girls" which is always an appropriate song for my demographic and year of graduation. I even got a little more nostalgic when the Pilots rolled out their fake sumo wrestler routine. Hadn't expected that. Takes me back to when we had the transfer from Washington. Not Dickau. The tall one.

Sorry I am still p.o.'d at Knight and we will not do business with him. The IDF gals talked me out of sending him a tub of KY with a "Love, Chip" notecard attached. But they didn't flinch when I Fed Ex'd him a waffle iron with a "You're Welcome, Bill Bowerman" notecard. That always pushes his buttons.

You need to get to the bottom of Uber and Luther's stunt in PDX. I am sure you saw the news report about the woman who fell off a roof and got wedged between two buildings. I suspected nothing until they released the woman's name: Anita Mann. Right, remember Seymour Butz and Amanda Kiss in Orlando. Big jokers are they. Still, I have to give them points for irony. Only the truly twisted would come up with the name "Anita Mann" for a single woman in Puddletown. If I had participated, one of the buildings would have been a feminist bookstore next to an REI. But that's me. LOL.

BTW, if you value being able to give the auditor's a dumb-ass look when they ask questions, I wouldn't scrutinize my expense vouchers too closely. And use someone else's name when you sign. You need to act surprised.

Anyway, going to karaoke and maybe hot-tubbing later. Put a bird on it. Ciao!

Your Pal, Bowser