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Bowser
12-21-2010, 10:01 PM
To: Birddog
From: Bowser
Re: SnapCo 2010 - Supplemental Report
Date: December 21, 2010

Forget all that GAAP baloney in the 10-K. 2010 sucked, especially March and April. November and early December weren’t that hot either. The crew lacked focus and poise.

The management team had its own problems. I lay the blame on Tiger Woods and healthcare reform. Every damn one of them thought they had a “sex addiction” that needed therapy in Florida. Purging ESPN and Oprah from the lunchroom worked wonders. That and the old Jesuit Epsom salts trick. Losing the hot tubs and hot oil massages. That kind of stuff.

Combine that with the Homeland Security dust-up and I think I’ve had just about enough of this job. Who would have guessed that the metallic yarn used for the lightning bolt in the Harry Potter thong line, particularly the Hogwart, would set off those new security gizmos? So who in the hell is in the line of succession here? Compiling the data for the hip to waist ratio just doesn't have the luster it once did.

Because I had to deal with Big Sis at HS, your task is to entertain Frank at the Xavier game. I will not be at the game because I will be shopping for Mrs. B. She made it quite clear that something out of the warehouse is not going to make it this year.

As a result of another one of our bets, Frank will be wearing his Musketeer outfit, the same one he wore at the Excalibar in Vegas in the early days. He is quite the handful. I had to taze him at the Sacramento Regional during the Xavier-Zag chick game. He shuddered like a clubbed sturgeon. Good luck.

Ziggy
12-21-2010, 10:45 PM
Uh, Houston, we have a problem here...

Birddog
12-22-2010, 04:16 AM
Bowser,
I guess you didn't get the message sent from my I-Phone, thanks ATT. I got stuck at the Gotebo plant when some NCAA investigators unexpectedly showed up, and as a result missed my flight. As near as I can tell, somebody has alleged that Spangler has received some freebies from us. It's a disgruntled OU or OSU fan no doubt. As you know, Gotebo isn't that far from Bridge Creek, but I can assure you that if Spangler has any SnapCo product, he got it at retail.

Sales have picked up a little recently, as many people are opting to wear the CP or Thong when going through the security checks at airports in an effort to speed up the process and and avoid the full body scan. We've even begun to sew in a label stating that our product is TSA approved
.
Best to the Missus, and may all your toddies be hot,
Birddog

PS, leaving OK for NM after the game, Frank is on his own.

gamagin
12-22-2010, 08:24 AM
To: Birddog. He shuddered like a clubbed sturgeon.

This amazing imagery triggered a flashback. To my honeymoon. Thanks !

BobZag
12-22-2010, 10:35 AM
All I ever wanted to see was the model mee modeling it. Strictly prurient.

Bowser
12-22-2010, 11:18 AM
Don't quote me here Bob, but I understand your wish could come true if you set a glass of a moderately priced Merlot in front of said model.

Your Pal,
Bowser

NJZag
12-22-2010, 03:22 PM
to: Birddog
from: Bowser
re: Snapco 2010 - supplemental report
date: December 21, 2010


because i had to deal with big sis at hs, your task is to entertain frank at the xavier game. i will not be at the game because i will be shopping for mrs. B. She made it quite clear that something out of the warehouse is not going to make it this year.

as a result of another one of our bets, frank will be wearing his musketeer outfit, the same one he wore at the excalibar in vegas in the early days. He is quite the handful. I had to taze him at the sacramento regional during the xavier-zag chick game. He shuddered like a clubbed sturgeon. Good luck.

2 + ........

NJZag
12-22-2010, 03:45 PM
Bowser,
I guess you didn't get the message sent from my I-Phone, thanks ATT. I got stuck at the Gotebo plant when some NCAA investigators unexpectedly showed up, and as a result missed my flight.

Best to the Missus, and may all your toddies be hot,
Birddog

PS, leaving OK for NM after the game, Frank is on his own.

(-2) = 0

Now, who's going to babysit Frank?

I phoned John (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Boehner#Early_life.2C_education_and_career), thinking that he might look "good" on the arm of somebody wearing the outfit of his alma mater's mascot, but he said he was too tied up trying to figure out how to morph his minority "Party of NO!" into some new-fangled majority "Party of YES!" after the holidays. He wasn't a taker...

Then I called Robert (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Romanus) (a/k/a Mike) figuring that a XU alum with a little ticket scalping background (even if he was just "acting") might come in handy since tix to the game might be hard to find at the last minute if Birddog and his ticket both missed the flight. No luck ... guy is still as insoucient in 2010 as he was in the 1980's ...

http://filmfanatic.org/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/fast-times-romanus.png

He mumbled something about being too busy, still listening to "side one of Led Zeppelin IV" and hung up on me.

If Frank insists on showing up looking like this ...

http://blstb.msn.com/i/73/23DD84727587553ABD02A34E4E22.jpg

no self-respecting Zag fan is going to want to be seen hanging out with him anyway.

Suggestions?

NJZag
12-22-2010, 03:51 PM
Unless ... :doh:


... think there's someplace in Spokane where we can find some old blue shag carpeting in a hurry?

http://por-img.cimcontent.net/api/assets/bin-200912/89bc9f1f4341e76339182df29b38180d.jpg

ronh_pm
12-22-2010, 04:04 PM
I have no idea what a word of this means but man this is some funny stuff!

Bowser
12-22-2010, 04:28 PM
I rely on Jesuit House for all my shag carpet needs. But its inventory is limited to more fungal hues.

BTW, while arguably morally responsible for Frank's antics, I am immune from any legal liability. But watch yourselves. Like most actuaries, he is ultimately quite boring unless fully caffienated. He also has a thing for mee99999.

Your Pal,
Bowser

Birddog
12-22-2010, 06:36 PM
Memo to Bowser:
re New lines
Bowser, what a great idea I can't believe that between us we haven't come up with this before. I trust you fully researched the legalities and that there are no Copyright problems.

"ANYONE ANYTIME ANYWHERE" on our CP's and Thongs is a stroke of genius and should start '11 off with a bang. The "Yulelog" and "Roasting Chestnuts" CP's aren't moving despite the intense marketing effort. It's good to get lucky once in awhile.

Still wishing that all your Toddies are Hotties
Birddog

UberZagFan
12-22-2010, 08:16 PM
Don't quote me here Bob, but I understand your wish could come true if you set a glass of a moderately priced Merlot in front of said model.

Your Pal,
Bowser

Ouch.


p.s. Uber's all for the "anyone, anytime, anywhere" tag line.

NJZag
12-23-2010, 04:30 AM
I rely on Jesuit House for all my shag carpet needs. But its inventory is limited to more fungal hues.

BTW, while arguably morally responsible for Frank's antics, I am immune from any legal liability. But watch yourselves. Like most actuaries, he is ultimately quite boring unless fully caffienated. He also has a thing for mee99999.

Your Pal,
Bowser

Post-game update:
No amount of shocking-blue dye could overcome the dual problems of the fungal hues so popular when this lad's (http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/photos?gameId=303562250&photoId=1026735) dad was lighting up the old Kennel, and the lack of adequate drying time. Which meant that none of the true-blue Zag regulars at home games could be provided with suitable disguises to sub in as Frank-minders.

However, not to worry. A couple of the more notorious dog-loving oldtimers on the board (initials "H." and "E.V.") remembered that they had "a little something" left over from Halloweens long ago. Consequently, the Zag faithful with whom Frank sat could be reassured that they didn't have an "enemy combatant" in their midst. Rather, Frank's odd attire could be explained as a costume being worn by a fugitive from a nearby Renaissance Festival ...

http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.78500915.jpg

Pending further reports about Frank's caffeine consumption and any brawls that it might have caused, Sinto will need to review your "get out of jail free" mumbo-jumbo to see if it will hold up under WA law.

NJZag
12-23-2010, 04:53 AM
Memo to Bowser:
re New lines
Bowser, what a great idea I can't believe that between us we haven't come up with this before. I trust you fully researched the legalities and that there are no Copyright problems.

"ANYONE ANYTIME ANYWHERE" on our CP's and Thongs is a stroke of genius and should start '11 off with a bang. The "Yulelog" and "Roasting Chestnuts" CP's aren't moving despite the intense marketing effort. It's good to get lucky once in awhile.

Still wishing that all your Toddies are Hotties
Birddog

BD, you surprise me. And you claim to have attended GU's Florence program??? Surely, the Art History professor of your era must have introduced you to the revolutionary ideas surrounding CPs during the most illustrious period of Medici-patronized art!

Yes, we are talking about none other than the master himself ... Angelo Bronzenoze (http://www.dearauntnettie.com/museum/museum-codpiece.htm) (pronounced: Bron-zee-noo-zee) ... whose works now grace the walls of the notable collection at the Museum of Depressionist Art (http://www.dearauntnettie.com/museum/index.htm) in Redbone, U.K.


About the Museum:

In 1919 Bagasse Mumblestoats, fresh from his WWI tour in France with the famed Lafayette Espadrilles, returned to his home town of Redbone with a burning desire. It was eventually cured with liberal doses of salvarsan and mercury, which allowed the young Bagasse to wed his childhood sweetheart, Gematria Pulverington-Wheatwhistle, heiress to the fabled Wheatwhistle tinsel-mining fortune. Gematria shared her husband's vision of a museum in Redbone that would attract worldwide attention and "really put the place on the map," as she so often put it.

Bagasse had liberated many paintings from French restaurants, bars and bordellos, and this became the foundation for the Mumblestoats collection. As all collections profit from a common theme, the Mumblestoats decided to specialize in the art of the Depressionist school, which most other museums rejected as being too miserable, dejected and hopeless to warrant space on a wall.

Depressionism, according to the landmark Johnson & Jansen "Big Book o' Art Stuff," is not limited to a single place or time. Instead it reflects the low point of an otherwise highly regarded artist's career. Picasso's "Blue Period" is a perfect example of this creative state of mind. Mrs. Mumblestoats describes it perfectly when she says "that boy was lower than an ant's bellybutton."

It should be a mere hop-skip-with-no-big-mental-jump for any connoisseur of Bronzenoze's artwork to come up with the idea of slapping a few words on a CP. But you might want to check with the guy at the GU Bookstore who handles TM and copyright issues if you hope to apply a protected Zag emblem on the new product line.

In the spirit of the season ... there are Toddies .... but, given the bleak geography from whence this missive be pecked out on a keyboard, there are no Hotties named "mee" (http://www.modelmayhem.com/1316066) ...

Bowser
12-23-2010, 07:43 AM
BD:

As usual, you have your finger on the pulse regarding marketing trends. Our crack team of lawyers gave another one of their "conditional opinions" regarding copyright and fair use. LOL. However, the problem lies in trademark, a different animal. Apparently, and unexpectedly, Katie Couric has the trademark rights to AAA. She has not forgiven us for beating her beloved Hoos.

However, our New Jersey consultant has presented the beginnings of new Medici CP line. Though obscure, marketing believes that the Mumblestoat, Wheatwhistle and Redbone will appeal to a narrow but eclectic demographic.

I have been texting Frank for hours now and I suspect he is pouting. If you hear from him, go easy. Remember he arranged the hot oil massages in Vegas after the UCLA loss when he could have just taunted us. Especially considering the earlier action with the X.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that for 2010 the percentage growth in net profit now exceeds the percentage growth in legal fees. As our insurance consultant would say "WooHoo".

The Shylocks also tell me we gotta say "Happy Holidays" around corporate. So Merry Christmas. Sue me.

Your Pal,
Bowser

mee755
12-23-2010, 12:11 PM
I rely on Jesuit House for all my shag carpet needs. But its inventory is limited to more fungal hues.

BTW, while arguably morally responsible for Frank's antics, I am immune from any legal liability. But watch yourselves. Like most actuaries, he is ultimately quite boring unless fully caffienated. He also has a thing for mee99999.

Your Pal,
Bowser

This is the first I have heard of newer models. I understand the need to keep up with the times and attract younger clientele, but I am a little upset. I thought by adding on a tramp stamp and keeping fit with yoga, I'd keep getting work. Guess I need to look for additional modifications.

gamagin
12-23-2010, 01:26 PM
BD:. Our crack team of lawyers

redundant.

GoZags
12-23-2010, 01:50 PM
This is the first I have heard of newer models. I understand the need to keep up with the times and attract younger clientele, but I am a little upset. I thought by adding on a tramp stamp and keeping fit with yoga, I'd keep getting work. Guess I need to look for additional modifications.

Speaking of "tramp stamp" what's the word on Jane?

BobZag
12-23-2010, 02:09 PM
This is the first I have heard of newer models. I understand the need to keep up with the times and attract younger clientele, but I am a little upset. I thought by adding on a tramp stamp and keeping fit with yoga, I'd keep getting work. Guess I need to look for additional modifications.

It's okay, mee. I'm willing to look through your portfolio and re-recommend you. I won't let anyone else look. I promise. Trust me.

mee755
12-25-2010, 04:07 PM
It's okay, mee. I'm willing to look through your portfolio and re-recommend you. I won't let anyone else look. I promise. Trust me.

LOL, BZ! Flattery will get you nowhere - unless there is a bottle of red wine, too. ;)

Thanks for the laughs, SnapCo. I was actually standing in line doing last minute Xmas shopping & busted out laughing when I read this thread. Got some funny looks! But I have missed your witty posts on the board. Merry Christmas to you!