PDA

View Full Version : SnapCo: Q1 09



Bowser
03-13-2009, 10:48 PM
To Birdog

From Bowser

RE: First Quarter Results

I hope you’re not freezing your ass off in Oklafrigginhoma unless you have a respectable store of anti-freeze and chips.

A real nice first quarter. As the sales figures suggest, we are still kicking “A” and taking names. The Remora, a new thong design, is selling briskly. Sales started poorly though until we removed the dorsal. What were we thinking? Ouch. Now its selling faster than suckerfish in Seattle.

And I have to hand it to you on the convenience store product placement and the vending units. Uber told me that you had arranged for distribution of footage of the Boca Raton ATM [Automated Thong Machine] heist. Freaking priceless. Even my local news in Puddle Town ran the footage of the thieves stealing our ATM and leaving behing the one right next to it, the bank’s ATM, the one with lots of MONEY in it. I sent Deborah Norville a corset as thanks. Whispy garters.

BTW hiring Uber as a consultant was just a money call. Not only does the guy outperform the Bel Air Gel Hairs, the girls simply adore him. The guy gets so many massages I am surprised he can even walk. When they aren’t messing up his hair, they tell me he’s “real cute.” Cleans the hot tub too even though he doesn’t have to.

SnapCo is just rolling buddy. Just rollin’.

MotoZag
03-13-2009, 11:13 PM
I don't see how this has anything to do with GU basketball. Perhaps I could be filled in?

kitzbuel
03-14-2009, 05:55 AM
I have to say that picking up the SMC Dance Team account was quite a coup.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3286024

Birddog
03-16-2009, 04:39 AM
Bowser:
Sorry about the late reply, it's been a whirlwind since I had to change plans and head to the ski areas for SB. I am just now heading to bed after staying up most of the night teaching a seminar for the young bartenders in how to properly prepare a Black and Tan and an Irish Car Bomb. Sometimes I think our youth has lost all sense of history. Jeesh, they didn't know there was such a thing as Irish Single Malt Whiskey.

I've had to judge two Bikini and one wet Tshirt contests in addition to hosting the apre ski parties. The SMC Ozzie dudes lined me up with the Uggs people, and our collaboration has produced another winner. The Lambs wool thong is a hit in the mountains , and it arrived just in time, that's why I'm here.

This flea bag Motel only has dial-up so don't look for any important updates.

Cheers,

ZagSlug
03-16-2009, 07:00 AM
I don't see how this has anything to do with GU basketball. Perhaps I could be filled in?

Don't worry about the SnapCo memos, just lie back and think of England as I always do. ;)

Birddog
03-16-2009, 02:59 PM
I don't see how this has anything to do with GU basketball. Perhaps I could be filled in?

Wasn't it basically a thong (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sling_(weapon) ) that brought down Goliath?

UberZagFan
03-16-2009, 03:11 PM
BTW hiring Uber as a consultant was just a money call. Not only does the guy outperform the Bel Air Gel Hairs, the girls simply adore him. The guy gets so many massages I am surprised he can even walk. When they aren’t messing up his hair, they tell me he’s “real cute.” Cleans the hot tub too even though he doesn’t have to.

While this is true and Uber loves the perks, he's still waiting for a paycheck. Where are the royalties? Where's the profit sharing? Ok, nevermind that...we all know Uber is just interested in judging bikini and wet t-shirt contests.

MotoZag
03-16-2009, 03:50 PM
A big LOL.