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CanadZag
02-25-2009, 09:36 AM
The following interview took place this week between Gonzaga head coach Mark Few and correspondence reporter, Ken Krayeske, who is working as an insider for both Andy Katz and Seth Davis, who have recently (continually over the past decade) discussed the possibility of Coach Few moving to greener pastures.

KK: Mark, much has been made each and every year of you accepting one of the nationís top coaching vacancies, as is the case this year, would you care to discuss some of your opportunities with us?

MF: Well, I am focused on this season right now, and this team, and playing better basketball.

KK: So then letís talk about the Arizona job, Seth Davis has a "gut feeling" that this is your job. What is your take?

MF: I am not in a position to talk about such things at the moment.

KK: Is your refusal to answer is an admission of your decision then, to replace Lute Olsen at Arizona.

MF: No.

KK: But Mark, Arizona is soooo much of a better job. They have been to 20-some consecutive tournaments. You could never think of appearing in say, a double-digit amount of consecutive tournament appearances with Gonzaga.

MF: Youíre right, I donít see that happening.

KK: You always talk about how you want Gonzaga to join a power conference, and that you need the resources of a power-conference to build and sustain success.

MF: I said that?

KK: Yes, Iím paraphrasing a quote from you that says, ďWe are North Carolina, Duke, or Kentucky.Ē

MF: I said ďWe are not.Ē

KK: I said I was paraphrasing, one word here or there isnít going to make a difference. But head-to-head- That 2003 classic game, and combining that with the loss earlier this season- and you have what makes for, what I would consider, an omen.

MF: How so?

KK: Well, there is that motto, if you canít beat Ďem- join em.

MF: I guess I should apply to Portland St. too then.

KK: Címon Mark, donít be ridiculous. That isnít the program in Oregon you want to coach. What about your alma mater?

MF: Well currently, they still have a head coach under contract so this is not even an issue.

KK: Please. This is the perfect opportunity. To take the Ducks to the final four, with all of the resources you could never have at Gonzaga. I mean, I know youíve been building a program here for the past decade, but its Oregon or bust for your career. That is a program on the verge.

MF: Arenít they currently last place in the PAC-10?

KK: Okay, so they have 14 conference losses this season and you have 13 conference losses this decade. But what program wouldnít in the WCC. Oregon, Oregon St., Northwestern, South Florida, the list goes on and on of the teams that would be undefeated over a decade in the WCC.

MF: Do you need some help? Should I call someone for you?

KK: No. Mark. Think about it. Your alma mater. Where is your loyalty man? You spent four years as a Duck. And only twenty as a Zag. And its the perfect time to uproot your young family.

MF: I think this interview is pretty much over.

KK: No. Donít, Iím sorry. But your at least going to do it for the money. I mean, that public university can offer you some serious state-government coin. And we wouldnít expect you to give a dime back!

MF: You are right about having a Nike booster network like Oregon has.

KK: Right- think about it. And all of the hustle and bustle over the Zags having to wear those black uniforms that have nothing to do with Gonzaga history and everything to do with shameless marketing and consumerism- you wonít have to worry about all that anymore at Oregon.

MF: As a rule of thumb, I generally donít worry too much about the uniforms we wear.

KK: No, but what Iím saying is that at Oregon your uniforms will be classic, timeless, filled with tradition, and most of all- extremely sharp-looking. All of their sports teamsí uniforms are. And you wonít have to listen to everyone moan about Nike imposing its will on teams they are signed with.

MF: Exactly. Now you are really starting to make sense. (undoes his microphone from his shirt)

KK: Mark. Buddy. You need to get out of Gonzaga fast. Youíll never make it big by staying here. Youíll never make the final four. Youíll never have success in your profession. Look at your pal Dan Monson. He only makes the elite eight with the Zags in 1999, but then, then in 2003, he makes the final four with Minnesota, okay, so it was the NIT, but he got to play in Madison Square Garden- MSG. Think about it.

And Billy Grier. Well, his leaving last year for San Diego was also an omen. Firstly, that San Diego has more NCAA wins in the past two seasons, and two, that you are planning to leave Gonzaga soon and he didnít want to be left here to pick up the pieces. He saw no other option to have a career as a head coach.

(Mark Few gets up and leaves)

Thanks, Mark- And so there you have it. From the horses mouth. Mark Few is officially accepting a PAC-10 head-coaching position this season.

Jakester425
02-25-2009, 12:14 PM
Ken Krayeske is a real ###### bag. I dont know if anyone saw it but he is the same guy who questioned Jim Callhouns salary during UCONN's last post game press conference and Callhoun went off on him.

CanadZag
02-25-2009, 12:25 PM
#1- I didn't believe in using a disclaimer because I thought it was obvious, but this isn't a real interview. I made it up. It's tongue and cheek humour.
Its a play on the interview and the never-ending rumours.

#2- Why did this get moved off of the basketball board?

lothar98zag
02-25-2009, 12:30 PM
#1- I didn't believe in using a disclaimer because I thought it was obvious, but this isn't a real interview. I made it up. It's tongue and cheek humour.
Its a play on the interview and the never-ending rumours.

#2- Why did this get moved off of the basketball board?
I didn't move it, but I'm assuming the lack of a disclaimer caused the person to move it in order to prevent a board meltdown...

Zag79
02-25-2009, 05:46 PM
:lmao: thought it was classic. great post if your searching for humor!