ZagNative
03-16-2007, 06:14 PM
Looks like there's a bit of an echo on this forum today, as well there should be with the NCAA's still on, but my son just forwarded me a great e-mail from a friend of his who works for the New York Post, concerning his entries in a "Washington State Limerick" contest sponsored by The Nose column (http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/columnists/nose/story/6417708p-5721016c.html) on the Tacoma News Tribune, and I'm dying to share. (Hang with me after the limericks for a story about my son's friend, the author of the limericks.)
Friends and family,
If you saw today's "The Nose" column in The News Tribune, you'll see it
closes with three examples of what we call the Washington state limerick.
Basically, it's a classic limerick that includes a Northwest place name --
"There once was a man from Tacoma ...," that sort of thing.
I suggested the idea from my desk here at the NYPost, and the editor who
compiles "The Nose" threw open the competition to all in the Tacoma
newsroom. In the end, only one of my many entries (Puyallup) saw print.
So here are my (mostly rejected) limericks. Happy St. Paddy's Day.
- - -
A strange tumor found in Puyallup
kept medical experts in thrall, up
until some new proof
revealed a test goof.
In fact, it was only a polyp.
A rascally rake out in Orting
was skillful in amorous courting.
If asked whom he'd plundered,
he'd say, "Several hundred."
In truth, he was underreporting.
An actor disguised in South Prairie
hid his face to fool the unwary.
But press on his trail
had seen "A Bronx Tale"
and recognized Chazz Palminteri.
A zookeeper out in Tenino
declared he'd acquired a rare rhino.
But a whitewashed cage
put folks in a rage.
The rhino, you see, was albino.
A rabbi from rural Olalla
went journeying out to Ramallah.
He said, "I am on a
big quest for Madonna.
I hear she's a fan of Kaballah."
A plucky young woman from Fircrest
invited blind men to touch her chest.
Balloons in her shirt
held gases (inert).
Though fooled, they were mightily impressed.
An oddball from Place (University)
enjoyed several acts of perversity
with fauna and flora,
a global plethora.
Said he: "I like biodiversity!"
When beaned by a pitch in Tacoma,
smart ballplayers fake a mild coma.
They scrunch up their faces
and roam 'round the bases.
Some umpires will rule that a homah.
My son responded to his friend by chiding him that he "didn't take the tap-in with Gorst [Washington]", to which NY Post guy replies:
A programmer living in Gorst
just found himself rudely divorced.
While he studied spreadsheets,
his wife split the bed sheets.
His work there has since been outsourced.
If you feel so inspired, feel free to post your own additions to the now closed contest here.
About the author, Skip Card, who some of you living in Tacoma may or may not remember as a former reporter for the Tacoma News Tribute. He and my son were friends from their days at UW working on the UW Daily.
After 9/11, Skip was sent by TNT to New York to do a story about the aftermath. He happened to spot an attractive young woman sitting on a bench in Central Park and, of course, decided he needed to interview her. They "clicked," and eventually, after a cross-country courtship, NYC to Tacoma, they were married and, because they both had great jobs, Skip bit the bullet by quitting his job with the TNT and moving to New York, where this former left-coaster eventually wound up writing for one of Murdoch's papers. I just loved that story. I've met Skip, and he's a great guy.
A side benefit of having really smart kids like my son: They tend to bring their really smart friends into your life!
Friends and family,
If you saw today's "The Nose" column in The News Tribune, you'll see it
closes with three examples of what we call the Washington state limerick.
Basically, it's a classic limerick that includes a Northwest place name --
"There once was a man from Tacoma ...," that sort of thing.
I suggested the idea from my desk here at the NYPost, and the editor who
compiles "The Nose" threw open the competition to all in the Tacoma
newsroom. In the end, only one of my many entries (Puyallup) saw print.
So here are my (mostly rejected) limericks. Happy St. Paddy's Day.
- - -
A strange tumor found in Puyallup
kept medical experts in thrall, up
until some new proof
revealed a test goof.
In fact, it was only a polyp.
A rascally rake out in Orting
was skillful in amorous courting.
If asked whom he'd plundered,
he'd say, "Several hundred."
In truth, he was underreporting.
An actor disguised in South Prairie
hid his face to fool the unwary.
But press on his trail
had seen "A Bronx Tale"
and recognized Chazz Palminteri.
A zookeeper out in Tenino
declared he'd acquired a rare rhino.
But a whitewashed cage
put folks in a rage.
The rhino, you see, was albino.
A rabbi from rural Olalla
went journeying out to Ramallah.
He said, "I am on a
big quest for Madonna.
I hear she's a fan of Kaballah."
A plucky young woman from Fircrest
invited blind men to touch her chest.
Balloons in her shirt
held gases (inert).
Though fooled, they were mightily impressed.
An oddball from Place (University)
enjoyed several acts of perversity
with fauna and flora,
a global plethora.
Said he: "I like biodiversity!"
When beaned by a pitch in Tacoma,
smart ballplayers fake a mild coma.
They scrunch up their faces
and roam 'round the bases.
Some umpires will rule that a homah.
My son responded to his friend by chiding him that he "didn't take the tap-in with Gorst [Washington]", to which NY Post guy replies:
A programmer living in Gorst
just found himself rudely divorced.
While he studied spreadsheets,
his wife split the bed sheets.
His work there has since been outsourced.
If you feel so inspired, feel free to post your own additions to the now closed contest here.
About the author, Skip Card, who some of you living in Tacoma may or may not remember as a former reporter for the Tacoma News Tribute. He and my son were friends from their days at UW working on the UW Daily.
After 9/11, Skip was sent by TNT to New York to do a story about the aftermath. He happened to spot an attractive young woman sitting on a bench in Central Park and, of course, decided he needed to interview her. They "clicked," and eventually, after a cross-country courtship, NYC to Tacoma, they were married and, because they both had great jobs, Skip bit the bullet by quitting his job with the TNT and moving to New York, where this former left-coaster eventually wound up writing for one of Murdoch's papers. I just loved that story. I've met Skip, and he's a great guy.
A side benefit of having really smart kids like my son: They tend to bring their really smart friends into your life!